Better Boy.

Thank God Buddy seems to be a bit better now! He's had so many close-calls dying and then bouncing back he's like a cat with 9 lives and my hubby even calls him the Necromancer! I'm just so glad, grateful,and relieved he's doing better! This morning he quickly did a pee and a shit, unlike yesterday and yesterday he didn't even pee until 11 am and it was just a really small one, the size of a quarter(I was worried his kidneys might be shutting down or something was obstructing his urine flow) and then not again until 3pm but it was bigger and then twice more, plus a few shits and he's eating alot more now as well so I'm hopeful, but either way I'm at peace now knowing I'll still always be with him no matter where he is and he's my entire life and my only reason to live and without him I have nothing and if we die together it will be a blessing. He still seems to love life,too, even though he's old and practically blind and deaf and can barely walk and sleeps most of the time as he enjoys his food and loves cuddling with me and being outside and feeling the breeze and sun on his face and enjoys what he still has left and we will spend our last days the same way we lived our lives, together, with me by his side right until the very end.We're a team.He's been my heart for 9 years and when he dies it will be like my heart's been torn out,too, and I'll have nothing and no one to live for anymore.

Next-door also has this maple tree that's next to our fence beside our pool we get a perfect view of that now must be easily 30 feet tall and I can still remember when it was just a tiny sapling and every year the leaves always all turned yellow in fall except this year they're starting to turn orange and orange maples are my fave. and I'd like to think that it's a special gift from God to me before I die, and the orange leaves also remind me of my childhood,too, walking home from school I'd always look up at them in wonder and awe and pick the prettiest ones up off the ground and bring them home, and even as an adult I'd collect them and make a leaf wreath, and yesterday it got dark when my hubby was still playing pickleball and he doesn't see too well either(even with glasses) so it was like he was playing blind!

Jesus must also be really sad to see what's happening in His hometown now with the conflict in Israel, and the Palestinians would be saying to Israel now, Let my people go! and for the past few days my back and stomach pain's much worse(and even my legs hurt,now,too) and I feel nauseated as well and have a headache and this morning 3 times I also saw a bright white light flash that I thought was lightning at first and yesterday a new sharp pain in my right side too several times that was so bad it made me gasp, and 2 weeks today I get my follow-up endoscopy and I still haven't filled out my forms yet and likely will end up doing it the day before and it's the exact same thing I just filled out 2 months ago so I don't know why they don't just use the same ones again  instead of having me re-do it all over again, and we all have our dark secrets and deep shames(sometimes our own familes don't even know about) as well that no one knows about and I just hope mine stay hidden, or at least not revealed until after I've died.

We were conditioned to exist by the people who raised us.-Norma Jimenez