Scope.

Today I had my follow-up endoscopy and biopsy and I had to wait 2 hours  in the waiting room before they finally called me back and I was really worried and shitting bricks afraid they'd forgotten about me; they told me my app't was at 9:15 and I was told to arrive 30 minutes before that but I wasn't called back until 11 am and they took me in the OR at 11:30 am. I also woke up this morning with a massive headache I couldn't even smoke weed or take anything for in case it interfered with the anesthetic and my stomach hurt so bad and felt like I'd been kicked by a horse and by the time I finally got to eat it had been 18 hours so I was starving! My BP was really high as well. 177 over-something (remember I ran out of my BP meds awhile ago) normal is 120/80 and the alarm sounded on the monitor and some of the staff were even dressed up for Satan's Day( Halloween) too which I think is unprofessional. The anestheologist also had an Australian accent and when I woke up I felt stoned as f*ck and was really dizzy and my oxygen level was also low and the doctor said my stomach's still inflamed and he found green bile which either came from my bile duct or liver since I no longer have a gall bladder and he's trying me on another med to see if it helps and will call me in 4-6 weeks to see how it's going and go from there.

We also had frost overnight and when I took Buddy out this morning to pee I could see it sparkle and glisten on the grass in the moonlight and it looked like diamonds and on the way back from the hospital we even had snow flurries, and it was - 4 C and Buddy used to run to the door to greet me when I came home but now he's old and can hardly walk so now when I go out he just sits at the door and waits there for me the whole time ,and tomorrow starts November so I no longer have to skip over the Christmas songs on my playlist anymore but can just let them play now until January and one of my cousins in Europe turns 50 today as well; the poor woman's birthday is on Satan's Day and the sheeple are starting to wear their poppies for Remembrance Day  now too, glorifying war, soldiers, and the military, conditioned by society to bow down to the War Machine and shamed if not but I still don't anyway; I'm only for peace ,and Israel building settlements on Palestinian land is no different than European settlers colonizing Indigenous land in North America.

The kids also block me from their social media but I have my ways and I saw the second-oldest has a different surname on her Facebook now and it made me wonder if maybe she got married  and never told me, esp,. as I've never been a part of their Little Circle and am always the last to know things( and the 27 YR old did change gender and no one told me; I had to figure it out all on my own) and I asked my hubby but he said it's just a screen name, and one of the meanest things my hubby did to me was one time when I was out of the country he sold my Pug and I came back home and found my dog was gone, and I used to go on cruises and tours but now I'm old and decrepit and have arthritis and health issues and can't do all that walking anymore I just stick to the resorts and go swimming and suntan at the beach.

Today checking-in at the hospital they also asked if you've been out of the country recently and have had anesthesia before( yes, for both) and I was surprised to hear a lady say she's NEVER been out of the country and a man say he's never had an anesthetic! Really? Wow.....that's just so hard to believe, I'm an Old Pro, ha,ha, and I saw a Christmas commercial on TV yesterday too and it's not even November yet,and there's this car company named Stellantis at first I heard it I thought it was a medication, and I heard in a narcissist family the scapegoat  is the one always blamed, abused, belittled, not included or considered, berated, outcast, ganged-up on, devalued, demeaned, etc. and that's me!

It all makes sense now.

Except when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back.-The Notorious B.I.G