Life Of Pain.

I'm in sooooo much baaad pain yesterday and today I just curl up into a ball on my side with my knees drawn up to my chest and try to "ride" it out. it's gotten so bad now even weed just takes the "edge" off. it's my stomach, abdomen, and back, and I almost pass out and feel myself drifting to the edge of unconsciousness, just like I did when I was in labour the pain is so bad.  It's bad enough to go to the hospital but there's really no point; what are they going to do? They've been trying to find the source of the pain for at least the past 2 years.Also every time I cough now my ass  and abdomen also hurts and when I sit down pain shoots up from my ass up to my chest making me also wonder if my "hemmoroid" is really actually something more than just a hemmoroid, and speaking of it, I got a letter in the mail yesterday from the doctor saying I have to use a Fleet enema the day before  they remove it to give my ass a good cleaning and so I put it on the list when my hubby was out yesterday and of course when he came back and asked where it was he said he never got it( even though I sort of need it; doctor's orders) he said he had no idea what it even is so I told him the next time he goes out just ask the pharmacist. I wonder with this pain if it's cancer or perhaps maybe even a bowel obstruction or something? With my  stomach ulcer and diverticulitis I'm in the at-risk category for both...I also made up a funny new word,too:

shitlet

A tiny little baby shit.

I saw this cool funky sweater I like as well( shown above) and I checked my computer history settings and it said I did NOT log-in at the time my security alert mentioned so I WAS hacked so I changed all my passwords for ALL my accounts, just to be safe, and I worried with my hubby away 21-23 December how do we get our pumpkin pies(my fave. part of the dinner) for Christmas at the bakery, esp. when on Christmas Eve(when we normally pick them up) being on a Sunday it's closed Sundays as they're Mormons so he said just get them earlier, on the 20th and put them in the freezer, so I hope it works, and the 29 YR old jokes we can have "Roast Beast"  and Buddy is a one-of-a-kind, once-in-a-lifetime dog and best friend and no one can ever match and he's the only thing that keeps me alive and he's my heart, and the problem nowadays being an ugly woman is people assume I'm a trans woman when really I'm just an ugly woman, and when I was a kid in the 70's the main refugees were "Boat People" fleeing the Vietnam War, incl. several of my friends at school, and then in the 80's they fled the war in Lebanon and I had lots of Lebanese friends and most recently fleeing Ukraine and now it's Palestinians the refugees most in need yet sadly no one seems to be welcoming them, and even if Israel's claim is true that Hamas has underground tunnels under hospitals in Gaza( which I doubt) it still doesn't "justify" bombing and killing innocent civilians who are just trying to give and recieve medical care!

Nothing really matters, anyone can see Nothing really matters Nothing really matters to me.-Queen