Almost Over.

This year is almost over (yay!)and sadly I didn't die yesterday like I thought I might and just in case I took this photo yesterday in case it was to have been my last photo and I was shocked how truly old I look and how much I've aged this year.

 Stress does that.

 I turn 57 next week and even though I still feel  young ike a teen on the inside my body on the outside feels like it's 90 years old!My hubby will be away for my birthday in Toronto for 2 days for a course (and he also said he has another week still off,too, so that's 3 weeks)so at least he won't be here in my hair to annoy me, giving me some peace for my birthday and I'll order-in food from my fave. Italian place I'd normally go to with my mother, and tomorrow my hubby and the boys have a New Year's Eve party with their Dungeons & Dragons friends and it finally stopped raining as well and this morning it's - 2C and there was even a light "dusting" of snow on the roof tops!  My hubby also always accuses me of "faking" being dumb,too( like when I don't know sports references, for examples) but I can assure you that I'm NOT faking.😂He did give me the best Christmas stocking I've had in awhile though; this year he did them( my mother usually does) and it was all chocolates!

This is one of my fave. photos of us as well, taken 16 years ago and yesterday we went to the buffet, my hubby, my mother, the 16, 29 YR old, and me, and my mother let it "slip" that the 24 YR old and her BF stopped by to visit her at her LTC home on their way to Kingston the other day ...

.which is close to us as well but she never came by the house to visit me.....

the bitch....

a cruel and deliberate snub...

.and then they wonder why I hate my family and feel like an outcast!

 They always exclude me! 

I used to think that she was one of the "nicer" ones, too, but I guess she's just as bad as all the others. She said they gave her a hat and brought her a Christmas stocking ,too,and her BF even gave her a red envelope with $$$ in it for Chinese New Year (he's part Chinese) as well!

I really wish she never told me that.

I wish I didn't know.

It hurts that I'm the one everyone  leaves out, avoids, and no one wants to see and I still have no idea why.

Why do they hate me so much,anyway?

You know, I can't help being  autistic and bipolar.

I didn't ask for it.

I also love this car, which looks to me like some sort of Corvette, and apparantly it's from some old TV show and on a blog I read they gave their 20 YR old daughter a Glock pistol (which costs around 400$!) for a Christmas present! Holy f*ck! What kind of gift is that? (and yes, they are American!) and it was her fave. gift,too, and Rush said their fave. song of theirs is Tom Sawyer and mine is Spirit Of Radio (although I like all their songs)and yesterday dropping my mother off the 29 YR old checked out her new "digs" ( he hadn't seen it yet) he didn't like it and said it was crappy; the walls were depressing and drab colours and her room looks like a hospital room and as she was returning he overheard a nurse say to her as well, Already complaining? too.That sounds like her alright. Ha, ha, and my plan for when Buddy dies is to go to one of those euthanasia clinics in Switzerland or the Netherlands(I wonder how my travel agent will react to my request? I'll just need a one-way ticket) so I can finally get it right and get a trip at the same time,too, and die in Europe and NOT in this shithole. I just hope it doesn't cost more $$$ than I have in my account but even if not I guess I could always take out a loan; it's not like I have to pay it back; I'll be dead...

The moment when a baby is born, the mother is also born.-Blue