Let It Snow.

I woke up this morning to this! We got a bit of snow during the night and it's snowing now and supposed to get 2 cm or so all in total. Not much, but enough to cover the ground and make it look and feel like Christmas at least but it's not going to last, not even long enough for me to wear my new boots because I'm not going out until Sunday( to visit my mother) and then again Monday( to get rid of my hemmoroid) and tomorrow it's going up to 6 C and it'll all melt away. Yesterday my hubby also finally found the white tinsel/garland for the Christmas tree I've been looking around all over for; it was just hidden at the back of a box on a shelf at Wal-Mart and last night Buddy was softly crying and woke me up and when I checked on him his face was completely buried under a blanket he got trapped under and couldn't get out of (I'm just glad I heard him and woke up but I think mothers are instinctively "programmed" to hear cries in the night and wake up; how could he breathe under there?)and he was calling me for help for I rescued him and he peed on the carpet again yesterday too and the 16 YR old scolded, Stupid dog! and I reminded him he's NOT "stupid"; he's just old and incontinent and probably isn't even aware that he's doing it (so I can't really get mad at him)and like my mother also used to shit on the floor too when she lived here with us,too, which was much worse and at least he's a dog. I'm so forgetful now,too, that my piece-of-shit computer takes so long for a page to load that by the time it finally does I've forgotten what I wanted to post and I haven't heard from my Israeli friend on Facebook for awhile either, so I hope him and his family are safe, esp. during the conflict.I also want to buy something really bourgeois,too, to go way waaaay out, only I'm not sure exactly what, but I want to feel like I did when I used to have $$$.

This painting of ships struggling to stay afloat in the stormy waters by Jan Porcellis also reminds me of me in my life, trying to survive the storms, and my hubby said a friend of his from pickleball(all his friends there are fabulously rich and own the entire town) just got back from Costa Rica and liked it so much they went right back and brought their grandchildren this time and that might be a place I might consider going to on my next trip as it meets my requirements; tropical and has nice beaches( my friend S from grade 8 also lives there and has a B&B with his husband) and I wonder as well where the next Chapter of my Life Story will take me even though I'm basically just waiting to die as I don't really see any future other than the one on the Other Side after my soul/spirit is pulled out of my physical body and my energy is transferred to another dimension and I begin my next new journey, and our friend in California( who worked for Yamaha music and even got to hang out with the cool musicians) has retired, and a radio ad also asked Are you a new Canadian?  and I replied, I'm an old one, and I heard that it's common for the "scapegoat" in a narcissist family( that's me) to be  excluded from family events and to NOT be invited  or included  but it still doesn't mean it's right, and I wonder too why my hubby hasn't f*cked me since the youngest was conceived( he's 16 now) and I figured it's either:

(1) He just used  me to create the kids and now we have them he has no "use" for me anymore.

(2) He's secretly gay.

(3) He has a mistress.

He obviously can't be rejecting me because I'm old, fat, and grey now because so is he so who is he to judge?

Knowing I was different from most people was always fairly obvious, but it was suppressed a long time because that's something the world always demanded.-N.Diverse