Last Photo?

It's sad to think that this may very well end up being the last photo of us.

Buddy is still holding on from his stroke 4 days ago and yesterday he had another seizure yet despite that he was also more alert than he had been for the past couple of days and not as "spaced-out" and he was more aware of his surroundings and more responsive. His walking is improving as well and he's now able to walk more, although unsteady,and this morning he even walked all the way from the living room to the rec-room! His head is pretty mch always tilted to the right side now though and he's still not eating although yesterday he did give his food a couple of licks. He also barfed up bright yellow bile or stomach acid (due to his empty stomach)and even though I know  that nothing lasts forever and everything has to come to an end some time and everyone has to eventually die every time I see him slip away I also lose a part of myself and I die,too. I'm also torn between having a bit of hope that maybe he can keep holding on like this awhile longer, maybe even a few more months, unless that's just false hope, and at other times I expect him to die any day now, esp. if he's not eating. It's an exhaustive emotional roller coaster , like bipolar with my heart.

I pray for strength for what lies ahead.

I also phoned my mother and told her what's going on with Buddy and she replied with a sad heavy-hearted, Oh, no!  and explained I won't be visiting her today because I can't leave him in such a precarious state and I want to stay here with him, right by his side, just in case. It's also sad to realize that  at me age I will never make love again and it's funny too that you most likely were conceived in a bed, born in a bed, and will probably die in a bed,too, and the 3 inventions I'm most grateful for as well are anesthesia, air conditioning, and antibiotics. Yesterday I also had really baaaad cramps, diarrhrea and even some blood,too, so I wonder what it was I must have eaten the day before?

There is an important difference between being the cause of something and being involved of a chain of events.-Joel Larson