Today I'm going to the matinee of the new Bob Marley movie One Love and I'm just soooo excited! It's only playing at the little local cinema here for 5 days(it started on Friday) likely for Black History Month and I rarely go to the cinema(I just watch movies downloaded for free) maybe every 5-10 years or so but this is a special occasion; it's freakin' Bob Marley and as always when I get excited about something my hubby downplays and dismisses it and it seems that my happiness even annoys him; he's always trying to bring me down and begrudge me the little joy I do manage to scrape out of my miserable existance but I'm really looking forward to this(and then I can die in peace, ha,ha) and I just hope nothing goes wrong( like it usually does for me) to ruin it, like having all the tickets get sold out or something. I'm really going to enjoy this and I'm NOT going to let my hubby ruin it for me,either! I find such little joy in my life so I desperately try to hold on to it when I do.
Yesterday the 29 YR old also had a really busy day: he had jiu-jitsu and then his first singing lesson with his voice coach(who is a Classically trained singer) and then Dungeons & Dragons with his friends. He said the voice coach advanced him to a higher level class from Beginner because he doesn't need the diaphram training since apparantly in jiu-jitsu they do that,too, and he already does it, so of course being told that stroked his already-inflated ego even more( probably not a good thing for someone already so vain) and then he went to what he referred to as a N*gger-A-Thon and I said to him There's NO WAY anything is called that! What do other people call it? and he said Black History Month (I sincerely hope too that he doesn't really think that way and that he just says it because he knows it annoys me,which is bad enough)and he said at the art gallery they had African and Caribbean food, music, and others( I just love cultural events like that!) and he even got to try the bongo drums and a poetry contest he said he won,too( and he says he's been doing poetry for awhile ever since he discover it gets him "laid.")
We also discovered that we can't run the dishwasher and the blender together at the same time or else we blow a fuse, like what happened yesterday and the power went off in the kitchen and in the rec-room( which is beside the kitchen) and I wonder as well if I put a small dab of Super/Crazy glue on the tops of my ears at the back and stick it to the sides of my head maybe they won't be so big and pointy and stick out? It's cheaper than ear-pinning surgery.That mean comment my hubby made about my weight the other day still lingers and rings in my head,too. It really hurt my soul and it seems he's been extra mean and hurtful to me ever since he got back from Vancouver even though I was excited for him for his trip and maybe that's also the answer too as to why he refuses to f*ck me in almost 17 years: I'm too fat now even though he's no "prize" himself, either.
I'm a piece of shit it ain't hard to f*ckin' tell.- The Notorious B.I. G
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