Wings & Things.

So yesterday I decided to order some chicken from KFC for the 29 YR old and I for dinner for a treat  but you know of course with MY "luck" something had  to go wrong and it did: instead of 2 orders it somehow said I had 6 orders and ended up being 96$ so I had to go back and re-do it and then when I tried to finalize the order and pay it kept rejecting my credit card saying it couldn't validate it and it wasn't valid( even though it was ok just the day before when I ordered my weed!)  and I kept on trying, and trying,and trying and I even re-booted my compter (in case it was an issue with my shitless computer)and tried again and it still didn't work and they had a number of the credit card company to call so I did and they said since my mother is the primary card holder( mine is a supplementary card) they'd have to call her and I explained that's no use because her mind is "going" (she doesn't even remember we got a new furnace) and it's my hubby and I that handle her business now but they weren't having any of it and said I have to go down in person with ID to the banking centre,blah,blah,blah....and I just "lost" it and explained my hubby is out of town and I have no way of getting to the banking centre and I'm here all alone and I need my credit card to order-in food and depend on it for everything.

F*ck!

I just ended up ordering from another place that still takes cash.

Luckily I still had some Mad Money stashed away for an emergency.

I got chicken Penne Alfredo, garlic bread sticks and boneless chicken wings( which are really glorified chicken nuggets) and at that price we divided it up and shared it.

What the f*ck,though? WHY does nothing ever go right for me or ever work out and why is everything always such a hassle and a struggle all the time? Why can't things just ever go right for once? I swear I must be cursed! I still don't know what's wrong with my credit card, though, but at least we finally got our food but seriously, I'm just so tired of everything; tired of my bad luck, tired of being me, tired of constant daily pain, tired of my toxic family, tired of living in this shithole,tired of never catching a break, tired of life, just tired.

We also got lots of snow overnight and supposed to get a biiiig storm today: 20-25 cm and I heard someone named their dog "Reefer" and it cracked me up, and some 18 000 kids are being threatened with school suspension as well for not being vaccinated ( homeschool your kids!) in this shithole, and this morning I thought to meinself, "I better hurry and get up and have my bath before my hubby gets up and hogs up all the hot water" and then remembered he isn't here and it was glorious. I'm really enjoying this and I only really need him if the TV or computer breaks and for transportation and as I sit here at my keyboard I keep smelling a very strong scent of lavender, even though I don't have anything on me, so maybe a spirit of some sort is paying a visit ? A dead relative, maybe? Maybe coming to escort me to the Other Side?

 I also have frequent dreams of visiting my dead aunt lately,too, even though she was mean to me in life and I didn't like her(maybe she's trying to make amends now?), yet she was always there for transitions in my life: from preschooler to Kindergarten and from my mother and I living with her to moving out on our own and then when we returned disappointed and disillusioned our dream broken from L.A(because we kept getting mugged) and moved back we stayed with her for a short while until we found our own place just down the street, and weird,too: I have 2 different  opposite memories of our Christmas that year: one where even though we lived just down the street from them they never invited us for Christmas even though we were all alone, and another where we did go but they gave out gifts to everyone except us......so which one was real and actually happened and why do I have 2 different memories of the same event? Parallel universe?The Mandela Effect?One is obviously a false memory. I guess if I really want to know what really happened I can always go back and re-read my diary entry from that time.

They will never remember, you will never forget’.-Natasha