Bombs Away.

Later yesterday afternoon my bath-bombs arrived( for my Mother's Day gift from my hubby) shown here and they'll last for 8 weeks.Mother's Day is always a hard day for me to get thru as well and I ask God to give me strength and for my mother I'll be visiting her and will bring her a floral arrangement. My hubby also finally has an app't with the orthopedic surgeon on the 21st and the day after we got a notice they'll be shutting off the electricity from 9:30 am -1pm for maintenance so I'll have to make sure I cook and do laundry, etc. all before 9:30 am I heard that the Israeli contestant on Eurovision (the European version of American Idol) is being threatened, harrassed, and needs extra security as well due to the genocide in Gaza but I don't think it's right; it's the fault of the Israeli gov't and NOT the citizens and they shouldn't be blamed for it,and it's weird too because according to Google Israel is in Asia, not even in Europe, and I also saw the 29 YR old has an occult amulet on his bedroom door to ward off the Evil Eye which he denies but I know for a fact beyond any doubt that's what it is, and I've seen them everywhere for sale displayed in marketplaces all across Greece, Morocco,Turkey, Tunisia, etc.

It's a really big superstition there.

I also heard on the local news there's this house that about a week ago someone went by ( on a stand-up electric scooter if you can believe that; the redneck half-ass version of a drive-by I guess) and shot at it a few times and then just a couple of days ago arsoned it and torched it , burning it to the ground( but luckily it was empty so I guess the people had left following the shooting) but holy shit, someone's out to get them(and I know exactly how that feels!) so now the police are serious about it and think it might be connected(ya think?) and I hope Buddy appreciates all I do for him as well, things I'd never do for anyone else, like picking up wet yucky dogfood with my fingers, cleaning up his barf and shit, wiping his ass, giving him suppositories, even "freeing" his impacted shit, etc. but that's what love is. I also hope with May being a Bad Luck Month for us and most people in our family dying in May that he or my mother don't die this month,either, if anyone does that it's just me and if so at least the good is I can have lilacs on my grave as they're in season and should bloom next week or so.

These are also blossoms on the neighbor's tree, I think likely apple blossoms and  my faves are the pretty pink cherry blossoms and I can still remember when I was 4-5 years old I'd stand and look up in marvel and awe at my neighbour's cherry blossoms on their tree; I was just captivated and fascinated with them and thought they were just the most beautiful things ever(I still do) and would pick up the fallen blossoms off the ground that fell on the sidewalk and bring them home and put in water, pleased with my treasure, and I also remember one time coming back from the "Ex" (CNE) when I was younger too I got this free balloon that said Jews For Jesus on it only it was only on the one side and I never noticed it for the longest time and wondered why people kept pointing and laughing, and then when it got loose on the subway I was too embarrassed to claim it and go get it and I just let it float away, ha,ha, but now it's kind of funny because my religious  "leanings" now are probably the closest to the Jews For Jesus since I follow the Torah/Old testament teachings yet I still believe that Jesus was sent by God and is the Messiah.

Of all the disappointing things the kids have done that I'm ashamed of and that embarrass me as well( being Goth, trans, dropping out of university, living with boyfriend and not being married, not paying their debts, drinking too much, being ditzy and flaky with "healing crystals, etc, being vegan,etc.) I think the thing that embarrasses me the most is that 2 of them ( the almost 23 YR old and newly-minted 28 YR old) are vegans and it seems as well that I either don't love people enough or I love them too much but  either way they still end up hating me,anyway, so I can't "win" either way and I still failed at the most important job I ever had ,regardless.I mean well and I try but it always seems to backfire and go wrong all the time.

I really do just want to be left alone.