It's NOT Because I'm Stuck-Up.

I got this from Quora and it's just soooo me.

It's NOT because I'm "stuck-up" or "aloof" or because I'm lazy and just don't care or not interested or just couldn't be bothered like you might think.. I'm not "anti-social". I have anxiety and Social Phobia and it terrifies the hell out of me to inter-act with people(I prefer to just safely watch and observe from a safe distance) and this describes it perfectly what it's like and how it feels:

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Jorja Woodruff

2h

I’m the mom who sits alone at play places, but doesn’t want to. Struggling with anxiety makes it hard for me.

I’m the mom who won’t come up and talk to you first at our kids school, because my brain has convinced me that I will say something dumb.

I’m the mom that sits by myself while my kids play at play places, listening to other moms talk.

Agreeing with what they’re saying, even wanting to join in on the conversation, but I won’t. My brain tells me you don’t want me to, or what I would say, would be weird to you.

I’m the mom who when my child asks me to talk to their friends mom at school, so they can have a play date, I will make first make excuses as to why I can’t, then have to build up all the courage to ask something so simple.

I’m the mom who want to go out way more with my kids, but the fear of them having a meltdown that I can’t control, takes over.

I’m the mom who wants to be the PAC mom at school, who is friends with all the other moms. But I can barely muster up a “hello, good morning!” to you.

I’m the mom who wants to volunteer in my kids class for hot lunch day, for field trips, and all that fun stuff. But my mind reminds me about the room full of strangers I would have to introduce myself to.

I’m the mom who is actually really nice, but may look rude to others, because of the anxiety.

But I’m also the mom who understands anxiety.

I’m the mom who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt when they don’t talk to me at the school, because I know they may be anxious too.

I’m the mom who actually understands my children’s anxiety. I know exactly what my children need to hear, to calm them down.

I’m the mom who knows that I need to be more social, for my children, and I’m trying.

But, I’m still the mom you will see sitting in the corner of the play place. Because I’m still working on it.

Head buried in her phone, too nervous to look up.

Too nervous to go up and talk to you.

I’m the mom who is doing her best to not pass this onto her children.

I’m the mom who’s trying.

I’m the mom with anxiety.