Christmas Steve Eve.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve Eve which we always call Christmas Steve so that makes today Christmas Steve Eve! It's also sooooo frigid cold this morning ( -18 C with a wind-chill making it  actually feel like - 28C so the second-oldest went home back to BC where the climate is much warmer just in time last night!) when Buddy goes out to pee it freezes right away!! I also still have that massive splitting headache and finally figured out why:

I have a cold.

Not just any old cold but a really baaad one,too, because not only am I congested now but also really dizzy(and I look REALLY pale,too!) and feel like I'm always going to faint and I have a slight fever( for me) as it was 98-something-F as I normally have a low body temp( 96-97 F) and normally colds don't affect me like this and make me feel so bad but maybe combined with the overwhelming stress I've been under lately with my mother in the ICU my body just can't handle it like it normally would?

It's also going to be a half-assed Christmas this year too( and it doesn't even feel  like Christmas and I certainly don't feel very "Christmas-sy") with my mother sick  and I haven't even got around to wrapping gifts yet and will probably just toss them in gift bags or Santa hats and I haven't even e-mailed anyone any Christmas cards yet, either.

I just don't give a shit this year, really.

I just want to get it over with.

I also like this tie-dye dress and I just realized as well if I was as rich as Elon Musk(or even Jeff Bezos!) I could buy *everything* I like, and today it's so cold out I even had trouble getting enough hot water for my bath the pipes were frozen I could only run the hot( and no cold) and it ran out I could only fill up half the tub, and now the second-oldest is gone at least my stress-level will help by going down a bit  and she's said that DNA tests showed they don't have any Neanderthal DNA either which surprised me; I would have thought they would from my hubby's side, ha,ha, and last night the 30 YR old ordered-in a pizza and wings and couldn't even spare one slice  of pizza for his poor starving mother(and I gave him life!!) even though I always share with him, and sad as well: someone online said they were going to build a snowman just so they could punch it in the face! How mean! That sounds like something my hubby and the 30 YR old would probably do though,too.I also got more weed yesterday,too, an early Christmas gift to me!

I also always hated that Live Aid Christmas song too thinking they said Tonight thank God it's them instead of you, referring to the famine in Ethiopia back in the 80's and I thought what a horrible, terrible, awful thing to say but it turns out I was just mis-hearing the lyrics all these decades( ha, ha! what a doofus!) and I can still remember my uncle when I was 4-5 too joking when Santa comes down the chimney that he was going to shoot the Old Bugger! and my cousins and I pleading with him, Noooo! Don't shoot Santa!  and when my mother dies I'm also going to try to just remember the good times( we got along well when I was growing up and it only went bad once I had kids of my own and she took over and over-step boundaries and turned my kids against me) and not dwell on the bad, and she had to have more chest secretions suctioned again to loosen it up and maybe that's why she was coughing and breathing so "raspy" the other day as well, and I wonder too when she dies what happens to her debts( line of credit and furnace which takes 15 years to pay off) if they're just cancelled somehow or if we "inherit" them?

Marriage involves anything from little arguments from he folded the towels wrong and she freaked-out to biiig fights like she caught him cheating on her.