Feral Cat.

Yesterday I had an odd burst of energy(and my back already hurt, anyway) so I took down the decorations on the tree so now here it is, naked, and devoid of ornaments. I think the "Manic" phase of my bipolar must be starting but I actually like that stage though as I feel more optimistic, energetic,hopeful, and cheery, and do more so I just "ride the wave" as long as it lasts. Last night around 8 pm the 30 YR old also finally came home but then him and his GF went right back out again to 'Da Club and now she stayed over again( despite he knows how I feel about that!) and he's like a feral cat; wanders away from home for a few days and then comes back and he wasn't even sure Christmas night if he was even going to stay over at her place....and he ends up being gone for 2 days and then eventually comes back home! HA!

 Doing The Wild Thing is also much harder when you're in your 50's than when you're younger,too, as you simply just don't have the energy and stamina you once did and it takes much more effort  and your back hurts, you get out of breath, and leg cramps,etc. no wonder so many old people die of a heart-attack doing IT but at least they die happy  and with a smile on their face! Most people also say that their country is the best country in the world

and then there's me.

I think Canada sucks and is a shithole.

I would also say my religious beliefs are: I have always believed in God and I have no doubt that Jesus was sent by God I'm just NOT sure in what capacity; if He actually was God's Son or just one of His major prophets.

My hubby also called me a "wacko" just because I don't trust the gov't's free Smart Meter ( thermostat) because I know  that anything  free or that comes from the gov't always comes with a "price" (usually at a cost of your freedom) and "strings" attached, like maybe they can control your heat and decide how high you can set your thermostat or even cut off your heat for non-compliance,etc. but he's just so gullable, trusting and naive and just sees free and jumps without thinking it thru, and he doesn't like Pink Floyd or Queen either, the only person I've ever met who doesn't, so that should have been a "Red Flag" warning right from the beginning that there's something inherently wrong with him( and possibly even grounds for divorce,ha,ha) and I want to go back to the Caribbean as well but then there's always the hassle of having my hubby drop me off/pick me up at the airport( a 2 HR drive each way) even though he has no problem doing it for the kids(just always a problem for me) and the last time I hired a ride they left me stranded at the airport at 4 am because my flight got in late!

Busted!

Yesterday my hubby also asked me, What happened to the chocolates I left on the table? and I was like uh-oh, and just "played dumb" and said, Huh? What chocolates? Uhhh....I dunno.... but the actual truth was I ate them, but in my defense it was just a small box with only 8-10 of them in there and it WAS chocolates( fake "truffles") so I did  assume they were for me. HA! We're also ordering-in Chinese food for NYE and I'll be making Ambrosia and yesterday the 17 YR old finally got a much-needed haircut( he looked like a sheepdog with his bangs hanging in his eyes!) and I saw Hugh Grant on TV the other day too and I never thought he was that "hot" before but now he's older and grey he actually looks better  and does look handsome now, and alot of guys DO, unlike poor J from the old church who aged badly(although he WAS an alcoholic which probably doesn't help).

 Last night I had this vivid dream too of my dead aunt telling me, Just get on with it and get with G!(my old friend I always liked more  than a friend) yet if I had the choice to live another 20 something or so years finally finding love and being happy or dying soon and being set free sooner I'd still pick dying now because I've already done everything I wanted to do in life, I've had my kids, travelled to 39 countries, and seen the concerts I wanted to ( except for Foreigner) so there's really nothing left  and I'm just tired of life and simply just done ,and once Buddy's gone he's all I have left now to live for,anyway....

Longing for, used to be.-The Offspring