Luna.

This was the moon last night. It's a full moon and also supposed to be a Blood red Moon sometime as well. This morning when I woke up I could also see it right outside my bedroom window so when I just lay in bed for awhile looking out at it and the moonlight also shone thru my window illuminating my room and it was nice. Buddy was also barking at 3 am (why does it always seem to be at 3 am?) and I think he had another seizure again,too, and  my mother's BP is good and her kidneys & urine are good...yet her oxygen dropped  back down again and she's back on the Bi-PAP again and she's still drowsy and hardly awake and aware and still the same, no better but no worse; it's like she just stagnates and stays in "limbo"  and she's just seems "stuck", but what gets me is if the infections and kidneys are improving then how come she's still NOT improving and still has up and down BP and oxygen levels  and she's still :"out of it" and not getting any better? I get it the sepsis and kidney issues causes the mottling, low oxygen, low BP, lack of appetite,drowsiness, etc. but now it's getting better  and healing why is she still the same? She should also be getting better and "perking" up  and improving over time, day-by-day as well  now it's clearing up and I fear she'll just stay like this until she dies; that her body has just given up and is fading away.

It's like one step forward and one step back but never any real noticable progress but at least kidney failure isn't painful and she'll just slip away and not suffer but it's hard just watching her stay like this,too, and not get any better; she's still not eating or really waking up, and it's not very encouraging or hopeful for recovery, and yesterday the second-oldest and the 25 YR old visited her again and the 25 YR old still has yet to "grace" me with her presence,too; she never did come by to visit me yet (like she's purposely snubbing me)and she's already been here a few days and goes back today( the second-oldest is staying a week because you don't come all the way from Vancouver and just stay for a weekend) but if she's going to be a bitch like that then I'm honestly better off without  her( who needs people like that,anyway?) and ever since she moved to Ottawa and got with her BF she's become so stuck-up and a diva, although one of her brothers had always said she was always like that all along, even as a teen but  I think she used to be nice when she was younger. They are also going to try pickleball to see what all the fuss is so my hubby has finally successfully indoctrinated them into his pickleball "cult", ha,ha.

I say if table-tennis(ping-pong) and tennis had a baby it would be pickleball.

This is also the second-oldest. SHe doesn't look 34, does she? I think she still looks the same as she did when she was 17 but that's a good thing though; she's aging well, and she said she doesn't wear make-up,either, which likely also helps, to keep skin healthy. Yesterday she also tried to go to jiu-jitsu with the 30 YR old as well but it got cancelled and her and the 25 YR old are also planning on visiting old friends while they're here,too, and I honestly don't know  what I did that was so bad and why the kids hate me so much; it baffles me so much, other than my having autism and bipolar(which I also can't help) when I always meant well, had good intentions and did my best, which is really all any of us can do but that still wasn't good enough and they're ashamed and embarrassed of me and think they deserve better .but I guess that says more about them than it does about me, and despite all my mother has done I still fulfill my obligations to her and didn't just cut her out of my life, and 2 of my cousins(the ones with the horses) are also on another cruise; this one for 2 months( probably the world cruise?) and now they're in Antartica(I've never had any desire to go to) and didn't see any penguins but did see whales and seals. Another cousin also has the screename Deez Nutz because he got banned on Facebook and had to make another account.

I also heard an ad for a tennis bracelet as a suggest Christmas gift....for "only 1500$".....for just ONE gift, can you believe it...and also heard a funny new insult as well: you are a pipe crawler, and my hubby thought that dress I like was just all red and didn't even see the gold glitter in it he's so blind, and my fave chocolate hazelnut eggnog's also been discontinued( it figures!) and I only got to have it twice, and I hate  that song Santa Baby  so much too I turn it off every time it comes on the radio as it's just sooo greedy and materialistic and so against everything that Christmas is really all about, and I love the Ruffles  sour cream & onion chips as well; not only are they ribbed for my pleasure but they have lots of flavouring as well, and South Korea also impeached their leader (who has the same last name as my BFF!)for the Martial Law thing(for just a few hours) he tried to impose on them too, unlike here in the Shithole when the PM did basically the same thing during the Covid Scamdemic for 2 years and the dumb sheeple for the most part just rolled over and took it.

We're livin' on the edge.-Aerosmith