One Day At A Time.

It dropped down cold again and a snow squall just came blasting thru so now everything's all nice and white again so it looks like Christmas.  I called the nurse who said my mother's still drowsy( due to the kidney failure) BUT (after I had a priest come in and give her a blessing; prayer does work!!) now her kidneys and urine output are starting to improve so that's progress and good news and even though she's still not yet "stable" it's still  an improvement and I'll take  it! We just have to take one day at a time and some days are good, others are bad, and it's quite simple really: if she's not meant  to die now she'll recover.Her BP is still good and I'll visit her tomorrow morning (and with any "luck" maybe she'll even be more awake and alert, esp. if her kidneys are healing)and 2 of the kids are coming in later in the evening tomorrow and will visit her then(I think they limit visitors in the ICU to only 2 at a time ,anyway) and I'll be back in time to hear my weekly nightly heavy metal show on the radio as I still  need my regular structure and routine to keep me grounded, and for a sense of normalcy and security(it's an autistic thing) and with all her IV lines, tubes, and wires my mother must feel like a pin cushion as well!

I also noticed that unlike other hospital walls and doors in the ICU it's all clear glass you can see  right thru both ways, like a window, with no curtains,I guess so staff can always see the patient in case they "crash"....but so can everyone else that walks by as well, incl. cleaning staff,visitors,deliveries, etc. too so there's no privacy, and everyone's all on "display" like in a department store windowfront and I've only been to the NICU before when the now 26 YR old spent a week after he was born, and at 5 pounds 5 oz he was the biggest preemie there, and I visited him daily(and had to also "pump" my milk they fed him thru a tube) but luckily at the time we lived just 5 minutes or so from the hospital. The hardest thing to do too when she dies(whether it's now or later) will also be clearning out her room at the LTC home and I'll just donate her wingback chair, dresser, and clothing to the home and other residents but will bring back home her fuzzy blanket( for memories), flower vase,  and framed wall photos, and at least I won't have to worry about my hubby trying to snatch the house out from under me to sell,either ,as it'll be tied up in probate for a year or so,anyway, like it took me to get my inheritence when my Babushka died.

My hubby also brought back a bunch of food from his work's Christmas party yesterday: croissant sammiches, chocolates, spring rolls, butter tarts, etc. and for the past few days his tooth hurts too(likely a cavity) so I told him to put a whole clove on it....except we didn't have any even though I was sure we had cloves so he's trying to see if he can get into the dentist sometime today and at 6 am the radio DJ goes, Good morning, it's 8 am! and I shot up in bed thinking, Whaaaat? I slept in that late? but he just got the time wrong as I checked my clock and it just said 6 am and he also said he thought Keanu Reeves was Canadian too and I always thought he was Hawaiian but when I checked with Google it said he was born in Lebanon! My Facebook friend's mother also died and it's our anniversary on the 16th but it's on a Monday and the restaurants are closed Mondays(assholes!) so we're just going to go on Sunday to celebrate it instead.

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” — George Orwell, “1984”