Friday, January 17, 2025

Barrister & Solicitor.

I got the Dee Snider ( from Twisted Sister) book Shut Up And Give Me The Mic book( shown here) and I'm halfway done( it's over 400 pages long!) and yesterday I also saw the lawyer about the wills, or to be more formal, the barrister & solicitor, and it's bad:
He said his services will cost over 2K (where am I possibly ever going to get that kind of $$$ from?  We used to have $$$ before but then my mother retired and we were short one salary and then my hubby lost over 20K in Nortel stocks when the company went bankrupt and then I got audited and had to pay 40K and it broke us and now we barely just scrape by)and  he also said my mother's debts now have to be paid "by her estate" meaning the house, meaning me,meaning if I ( as her trustee/heir) don't pay them( and they're in the thousands of $$$ I just don't have) her creditors can force me to sell the house to get their $$$!
I can be kicked out of my home,  the very thing I wanted most to avoid and why I'm transferring it over to my name in the first place(so she won't have any assets.)
I refuse  to sell or move out! This is my home  and I'm going to die here.
It's just not fair or right though; they're her debts though, NOT mine, so why should *I* be the one who's punished and have to lose my home?
Except I won't.
I refuse.
So now she's left me with all her debts and I'll be forced to sell the house and move against my will.
He can't even apply to transfer the deed over to my name until 30 days after her death,either and the house insurance expires by then.
I hate my life.
It's over.

i feel like i’m waiting for something that isn’t gonna happen.-The sadsms

This is also a shirt  I like but will likely never order clothes online ever again. It's also very unsettling every time I have to see a lawyer and yesterday was no different. It's always because something bad has happened and now it feels like everything has all just fallen apart and come crashing down. 
I'm losing everything.
Being poor has destroyed my life.
My mother died 3 weeks ago tomorrow and I'll end up losing the house, my home , to her debts she left behind I'm now saddled with, I don't have $$$ for anything,and Buddy doesn't have much time left( he turns 19 next month) and he's the only one who loves me( and it's sad to realize that there's not one human being on the face of the Earth that loves me) and the only reason I still hold on, I've got nothing left; nothing left to live  for anymore; it's over.
I'm done.
Everything's come to an end now.
Everything is over now.

i'm really tried of acting strong. my soul hurts, my heart and my mind is lost.-Lowketalbert

It's also going to -30C next week( brrrr!!!) and I took these photos last night of the night snowfall  and I did miss a major news story the other night too when I missed the news: a ceasefire in Gaza starting Sunday, unless, of course Israel does something to f*ck it up like they probably will, and last night I also heard Stairway To Heaven again, and I also have a bad pain in my right side and last night pain in my  chest too so my heart is literally broken, and funny as well: my hubby had this client at work named Pedro and he cracked, referring to the movie Napoleon Dynamite "Vote for Pedro" and no one had any idea what he was talking about and now he feels really old! HA!

Now I know what it really feels like when you absolutely run out of hope and there's nothing left.
My life is over.
There's nothing left.

this year just started and i already feel like suicide is the answer



it didn't kill me, but a part of me died that day.

 

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