Homecoming.

My mother has made her final journey back home.

The funeral director dropped her ashes(shown here in the marble urn) off today just before Noon so it was sort of like she was here with me for my birthday ,afterall. Now I'm 58 I feel so old,too, holy shit, that's almost 60! The urn is inscribed, engraved, just on the other side, I just turned it around for privacy when I took the photo and I had them engrave her name on it plus

Sunrise 1941            Sunset 2024

The funeral home also gave us this nice poem.

I went to my fave. Italian place for my birthday dinner as well, the first time without my mother and it was bittersweet, esp. as that's her fave. place.too. My hubby kept gloating that he still was able to get his "street-food" fries and chicken tenders in a "fine dining establishment" even though it wasn't even on the menu.

Pfffffttttt!!

Of all the kids only the oldest even bothered to wish me a happy birthday; the 30 YR old's been gone all day at his GF's and the 17 YR old just didn't bother. and I haven't heard from any of the others even though they always send wishes to my mother and hubby on their birthdays. It just feels like any other regular ordinary day actually because no one gives a shit but that says more about them than it does about me.

Oh, well, f*ck 'em!

I got the Chicken Penne al Forno(and in case you're wondering what that thing is on top it's a mushroom) and a decadent sinful chocolate mousse cake that's just soooo dellish it gives me a food orgasm so much so my toes curl and my eyes roll to the back of my head. I've also decided if the 30 YR old keeps taking my parka without asking permission I'll just hide it somewhere where he can't find it.It's also strange that last Saturday morning when I listened to my radio show my mother was still alive(because she didn't die until sunset) and this Saturday she isn't.

I also got 20 Happy Birthday! wishes on Facebook which is sad that other people care more about me than my own family does and when I got home from the restaurant Buddy was laying on his side in front of the recliner chair in the livingroom and looked dead and scared the shit out of me and I really thought he was dead and it freaked me out;  and when I picked him up he made this funny noise like narf! I can't take TWO  deaths in a week! That would just be too much and when he dies there's nothing left for me anymore,anyway, because he's all I have left and my only reason for living,anyway.

I also noticed this on the back of the dresser we brought back from my mother's LTC home so one of the kids must have drawn it years ago when they were little and today I have really baaaaad abdomenal pain and it also feels like something cold and wet is dripping down my back,too, except there's nothing there so maybe it's on the inside? I was also sitting out in the backyard smoking a doobie and snowflakes started gently falling down from the sky all around me and it was just beautiful and earlier in the day we had graupel too and it looked like tiny little styrofoam balls.

She lived in a world of old memories which didn’t include him.-Radioman