Short Lived.

It was short-lived.

It turned out that Facebook friend request I got for Joe Elliot(shown here in his heydey) wasn't actually from the real Joe Elliot of Def Leppard afterall, even though when I checked it the stats were right and it was his photo and FB verifies because when I got mine they needed photo ID......today I noticed the account had been deleted so it must have been an imposter. A fake account.

It figures.

I should have known.

I feel so stupid.

Nothing is as it appears in life.

But at least the good of it was the feeling was real; the awe, the excitement, the joy, the illusion., and I got to live a temporary dream, even for a short moment.

I got to enjoy it while it lasted.

It lifted me up and  gave me the "boost" I really needed.

Even if it wasn't real.

But it felt real and the feeling was real.

It made me happy

and I smiled.

even if it was just for a short while

and that in itself was a gift.

Here is Buddy all cozy and snug and warm in his sweater as it's cold again, like - 17 C or so but actually feels colder, and now the insurance company wants me to pick a whole new policy and to meet with me, even though I just gave them 3K at the end of December to re-new the other one my mother had so they'd better either refund my $$$ or put it towards the new policy and NOT rip me off, and I just wish all this shit with my mother's estate was done, and I thought it finally was but it feels never-ending and it's also not right that I'm left holding the bag being held responsible for all the debts that she left behind and could even lose my home because of it!

I'm actually mad at her for that.

I could end up destitute and end up ending my life because of it.

At least when I die I won't be leaving any debts for anyone else to burden.

When the kids were growing up I was always afraid of losing them too and now the thought occurs as I'm at the end of my life that there's actually no one that's afraid to lose me.

I also really love these cool ripped jeans too and have a similar style and laugh remembering my mother complaining how I "Spend hundreds of $$$ on jeans with holes to look like I'm poor" but now I actually am poor and if someone tries to kill me the joke's on them,too,  and I heard a radio ad for Jewish rye bread  and it made me laugh because I never knew bread even had  a religion, ha,ha, and I also found out if guys f*ck too much( and I would also assume jerk-off too often as well?) they lose lots of zinc in all that ejaculate and can affect their health with a zinc deficiency and they need to take zinc supplements! HA! 

Who knew? 

You learn something new every day.

Asshole Trump also put 25% tarriffs on imported goods and threatens to add more if retalitary tariffs are imposed and I don't get why he thinks he can just boss around, and bully other sovereign nations like that and expect them to just kow-tow to him and comply with his demands! He acts like he's the Boss of the world and what  all the other countries should do is all just get together and collectively trade, leaving USA out, and tell Trump to f*ck-off! They can't allow him to get away with that and have to stand up to him or else it'll end up like Hitler taking over Europe  in WWII, and the 30 YR old said it's just to "divide people" and distract from the REAL issues, and Trump isn't the problem and me against him I'm just "brainwashed by propaganda and Psy-Ops" but I'm really standing up to tyranny; TRUMP; who IS the problem,  and I told off a Trump supporter online today too calling him a low-life, knuckle-dragging, inbred, redneck, pipe-crawling degenerate big porking throbber.

But he started it first

He called me a Maple syrup-slurping  Commie.(and I don't even like maple syrup!)

and THEN he said the word I hate most...."YEE-HAW!!!"

and yes, the deplorable was wearing a cowboy hat and had an American flag!

Big "surprise!!!"😂 HA!

 

I really like this too but won't order online again, and it's really hard to really discuss anything with the 30 YR old as well because he always aggravates me and pushes my buttons and he doesn't have any emotions either, like about the recent plane crashes; I think it's so tragic and it makes me feel badly for the families but things like this he just callously and coldly shrugs off as , I don't care .It's no one I know. It doesn't affect me in any way. which I think is the most narcississt and selfish thing ever meanwhile such news hurts my heart but I can't discuss it with him because he'll just make fun of me and say I'm stupid for caring so much.

As always I'm just left all on my own with my thoughts and feelings.

I just want to withdraw from society completely.

From all responsibilities.

From life.

Tomorrow is also the dumbest day ever: Groundhog Day. My hubby always bugs me about it because he knows I hate it so I told him I'll catch the damn groundhog and roast it.😂

You're flying low with a high velocity.-Alice Cooper