It's like a cloud lifting . Seriously , its like this huge grey thing thats been smothering me for months , maybe years , just . .. gone . One minute im a frantic mess , next im… calm ? Its weird , you know ? Like a switch flipped. Not that I dont still have bad days , but theyre… manageable . Before , everything was a rollercoaster, a terrifying , dizzying ride with no breaks and I was always clinging on for dear life . Now its like , I can at least see the track, maybe even choose my seat sometimes. Its not a constant sunshine party I still get sad, I still get angry sometimes , but it dont feel like its gonna swallow me whole . I can actually function , go to work , talk to people without feeling like im gonna explode. Remember that time I yelled at the cashier about the price of bananas ? Yeah , dont happen anymore. Small victories , I guess . Thats what its like, a series of small victories and the absence of gigantic , overwhelming catastrophes . I can actually make plans now and not worry about imploding the next day . Its still a journey but its not that insane climb anymore . Its like getting my life back . Kinda . Slowly but surely . Its . . . good. Really good.
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