Hey! We're actually getting a real spring day this week where Buddy and I can get outside again! On Thursday it's supposed to be 7 C and sunny! Not that warm but I'll take it!! Yesterday I also finally saw Moana 2 after waiting 4 months and my mother also got a cruise brochure in the mail and I just threw it out without even reading it. It just made me sad as we won't be going on any more trips together anymore now she's gone and the last 3 trips I had to go solo anyway, to Cuba, Jamaica,and Dominican Republic. I smile when I think of the good times,too, like our travels and all our adventures we had, and the fun times we had like going to live theatre, Centre Island, the CNE, etc. but then the way she actually treated me always also comes creeping back in as well, such as when I'd need a sympathetic ear and support bemoaning all the trauma, misfortune, and hardships,struggles,etc. in my life that I'm pretty sure others don't have it quite as bad and instead of being, you know, sympathetic, she always somehow always found a way to blame and criticize me, by saying things like, They do; they just don't always complain about it all the time like you do.
I also heard Stairway To Heaven on the radio again this morning and the youngest is now 18 and can kiss his childhood goodbye,, so officially an adult(so he can vote and smoke weed now) and I don't have any kids anymore and despite them saying how I was such a "bad" mother I must have done something right because they survived to adulthood and no one ended up in gangs, in prison, in trouble with the cops, on drugs, teen parents, on Skid Row, etc. and now they're no longer my responsibility anymore now,either, and I'm finally free, and I feel like I've just been released from prison following a long sentence, or like how I did on my last day of highschool; free and I knew I never had to go back to that place ever again and had a whole new life ahead of me.
Now I finally have myself and my life back again.
I don't have to put up with their shit and abuse anymore!
Yesterday the 30 YR old's first day back at work didn't go as planned; he was all up and dressed and ready....and they cancelled, and the same thing happened again today,too, so he still hasn't been back to work yet. His GF also spent the night over again,too, even though they "snuck" in and think I don't know but I do; I know waaay more than they think I do and notice more than they think I do. I just wish people would respect my feelings and the rules of my home.They know I don't want them fornicating here. He also said that they're looking for an apt. but monthly rent is an outrageous 3500$ a month, and that's even around here,too, which is as bad as in Toronto! For that price you should be able to rent an entire house!! I don't know how anyone nowadays can ever afford that! I knew they were serious though(and I was right!) I just hope that they get married first(and don't just 'shack up") and we also rely on the rent he pays us to go towards paying our 4K property tax yearly so without that how are we going to manage our expenses, esp. now my income ends this month?
My friends( also the 30 YR old's ex-GF and her family; it's the same family) also left California and the wildfires and moved to North Carolina in the fall.....only now they also have wildfires there,too, and people have to evacuate! Shit! Talk about bad luck, and I'm not on the patriotic, nationalism, flag-waving "Buy Canadian" bandwagon,either; I still think Canada sucks(and I always will) I just boycott American goods( due to the orange shitstain's tariffs and threats of annexation) now and don't buy American products anymore, but I don't necessarily only buy Canadian goods; products from Mexico, Central & South America, Asia, the EU, etc. are still ok,too.
I'm dancing with myself.-Billy Idol
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