Goodbye, My Friend.

My heart is broken.

My Soul Brother has died. 

The good news is he was at peace and not in pain. Hopefully he will also be reunited with his precious Taco Bella, his Heart-Dog Chihuahua that meant the world to him like how Buddy is to me. Hopefully I'll die soon   and we can meet on the Other Side,too. It's so unfair as well that he died at only 73 and Trump is 78 and still alive. Life is so unfair and it really is true that the good die young. My heart is heavy and sad with grief ,sorrow,and sadness. I'm really going to miss him. I'm surprised how fast it all went down though, how quickly, in just over a mere 2 week period he seemed ok but then got the diagnosis and quickly went downhill. It just goes to show that you never know and each day could be the beginning of the end and you just never know.  Yesterday it was also a glorious 19 C and Buddy and I were outside all day( my face is al burned again) and now it's 12 C but dropping down and we're getting rain.....and even plunging down to -15C overnight and snow and cold for the rest of the month, even though today's the first day of spring!

Shit.

Yesterday the 30 YR old also left for a haircut and I haven't seen him since and the last I heard was his GF's colonoscopy was delayed as someone getting the procedure before her had a Code Blue ( holy f*ck!!) and this morning I noticed the car wasn't in the driveway and worried it was stolen but my hubby said the 30 YR old just took it. Yesterday I also heard Stairway To Heaven  again and saw my Angel Bird and sitting outside I  also kept smelling this really strong scent of roses and wondered if maybe my mother was visiting me as she loved roses or if maybe it was just a neighbour using scented dryer sheets....but it just turned out to be the 30 YR old's rose-scented incense wafting out the window of his room! I also saw birds splashing in the water on top of the pool cover and even saw a woodpecker, a chickadee, and a robin!

 I also really loooove these funky hippie-style pants but doubt they'd have them in my fat hippo size, and and yesterday it felt like I had a really BIG lump stuck in my throat, bigger than normal, and also higher up than it usually is and thought it would be gross if it was a bloodclot or something I was gagging on(ewww!!) and  my hubby got me this new wireless speaker and it even has cool flashing lights on it that change colours that reminds me of the disco lights I had in the 70's as a kid, and Trump called Canada "One of the nastiest countries to deal with" and in the ad for Come From Away  they say it will "Restore your faith in humanity and make you be proud to be Canadian" but for me nothing will ever make me "proud" to be Canadian, and it will also take alot to restore my faith in humanity,too! I also haven't seen The Man With The Black Dog since fall,either, and he doesn't even know my mother died( he's always asking how she is) and I've been outside awhile now and he still hasn't walked by yet so I hope that he hasn't died now,too!!

The radio station is also giving out prizes to the Home & Cottage show and they always give out the lamest prizes it's not even worth calling in for, and I remember back in the day they used to actually have to have good prizes like albums and concert tickets! There was also this other mattress ad on the radio saying, "What's the best sleep you've ever had?" and mine would be when I'm put "under" with anesthesia during surgery! I'm surprised as well the 30 YR old's GF went to Toronto for her colonoscopy; I just went to the hospital in the nearby town 15-20 minutes away for all of mine, the same one my mother died at and my youngest was born at, and I heard this other contest as well you can win a trip to Mars if you "get all your 'brackets' right for 'March Madness'" and I have no idea what either of those things even are but I wouldn't want to go to Mars, anyway, but rather back to Europe or the Caribbean instead.

Sometimes, in spite of everything, the void is just too strong.-Marc Steigerwald