Tomorrow it will be 3 weeks since my Buddy died. I still cry for him and miss him and I always will and I long for the day we will be reunited again. I will also remember the moment his heart stopped; I was cuddling him rocking in the rocking chair, knowing it was his final moments and I had called the 30 YR old over to say goodbye and I told him His heart just stopped... and he said, Are you sure? and I replied, I'm sure.... and started sobbing. He was the best thing to ever happen to me and losing him was the worst. Losing him I also faced my biggest fear and loss and also survived what I thought for sure was unsurvivable and now I know I'm stronger than I thought and I can survive anything now and I have gone thru so much in my life now that there's simply nothing left that can possibly break me any more or any greater loss I can have. I also didn't think after Buddy I could love another dog but with Beja he showed me that love isn't divided but multiplied and sometimes I still find myself accidently calling him Buddy and even Belka (the name of a Pug I had in Ottawa) at times too, likely because it sounds similar.
It turns out the 30 YR old has another concussion! He went to the ER and now he has 3 days off work and nothing requiring concentration(such as chess, reading,etc.) or alot of movement(pickleball,etc.) to give his brain time to heal and his boss won't be able to say anything after HE took 3 months off work recovering from surgery, and I told him, No humping,either, you can't bounce your head around! and my hubby snarked, It's because you say STUPID THINGS LIKE THAT he doesn't talk to you!! which really hurt as I was only looking out for him and also trying to make "light" of the situation with a little humour at the same time and I only get put down( like usual) for it. He tried to have an online follow-up doc's app't yesterday too but he was too tired and still too out-of-it to comprehend so it's been re-scheduled to this week.
These are also tulips and daffodils from our garden at the front and my hubby hurt his shoulder playing pickleball too( he needs weekly physio for) but still doesn't have the sense to give it enough time to rest up and heal and still plays on, only just using his left arm( because he can't use his right)...until he ends up eventually hurting that one,too, and then what?.....will he have to play using his feet next, or what? I also finally took the plastic bag cover off my pillow(I kept it on to keep it clean) as it was so annoying and kept slipping off anyway and now it's soooo much beter; not crinkling all the time and not so sweaty; now it's so much more comfy; it was like a condom on my pillow and much better au natural, and it's almost May as well which is always a Bad Luck Month for us and something bad always happens to us(and most people in our family die in May,too, which surprised me my mother died in Dec.) but we've already had enough already between Buddy dying and the 30 YR old's concussion I think we're hopefully "done" but I always feel nervous in May, waiting for it....
You made 'em laugh, you made 'em cry
You made us feel like we could fly.-Queen
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