Running With Scissors.(Formerly HippoRastaPotamus): August 2026

Good news!!

I found out from my hubby yesterday that the 31 YR old isn't moving back in-between dorms for a month like I originally thought.....but only for a couple of days as he starts his new semester this month!

What a relief! I was worried the rest of my summer would be ruined but he's moving out of his current dorm next Saturday and temporarily staying here and keeping his stuff here and then moving into his new dorm at the new university the Monday after, just 2 days after!

So now I only have to worry about him and Beja for a couple of days and not for an entire month!

I was so worried and stressed over it I even noticed I was starting to bite on my knuckle again, something I haven't done since childhood, I now know to be due to under extreme anxiety(I was being molested at the time), which still baffles me at the time why no one ever noticed or mentioned it.

God provides!

He always has, and despite all the hardships in my life He has always been there for me and been by my side and answered my prayers and got me thru.

I just realized another problem though: when my hubby is out of work, whether he gets fired or retires early I no longer have his employee coverage that pays 80% of my medications either, which cost hundreds of $$$ a month and we can't afford it to which he just scoffed, "Just stop them."

Yeah.....riiiight....

Let's just stop my BP meds, my anti-depression meds, and my anti-migraine/seizure/bipolar meds and see how that goes...

It almost feels like I have a "deadline" and I'm running out of time; that I have to die before , and also before my life insurance runs out next month, and before my mother's creditors come for the house. I also can still remember pouring sand out of shorts and diapers and scrubbing dirty little feet and I miss those days.

There's nothing left for me now.

I also notice it smells musty on the second floor so something must be leaking and the other day it also smelled like weed in the second floor bathroom, where the youngest has his shower, and it wasn't me because my hubby doesn't let me smoke in the house, making me wonder if it might be the youngest; is he smoking weed now and sneaks it in the house? I don't care now he's over 18 but it does make me wonder. What else could it be? My hubby's also been extra "snappy" and "short" with me lately, likely stressed about his job but it's NOT my fault though and he shouldn't take it out on me and yesterday he snapped, "How many times do I have to keep repeating the same thing?" Well, until I understand.

My hubby also went to see the new Spider-Man movie last night (he's the *biggest* Spider-Man fan in the world; just ask anyone who knows him) but it was sold out and he didn't think ahead of time to buy a ticket so he's going to try again tonight in another town, and he asked the 31 YR old to go with him but he's at his GF's parents house again this weekend so I guess last weekend's Meet The Parents must have gone well. They also found that missing 28 YR old luckily and all they said was she was found safe and is in the hospital so my guess is either it was a drug overdose or a mental health crisis but she was one of the lucky ones as it doesn't usually end up like this and yesterday a gob of congealed coconut oil landed on the floor so I 'flicked" it so Beja wouldn't eat it and it landed on the shower curtain and stuck and I just thought it was the funniest thing ever and it cracked me up.

This morning I finally did it as well: I officially fell over putting on my underwear(I always tip over) and I fell foreward but put my hands out to catch myself before I fell flat on my face.

I hope that when each of us go, we are missed in ways we can’t imagine.-Josie Marcellino