Beja likes to perch up high on things(I guess it makes him feel bigger?) like a king overlooking his kingdom so I call him the King Of The Castle, or K.C. for short, which must make me the Dirty Rascal, or D.R. I got a scare yesterday as well: when the 30 YR old got his blood taken he fainted( just like my hubby does; guys are such wimps with medical procedures; it's a good thing it's women who have the babies!) and he'd been fasting for the blood test as well....but when he passed-out he also hit his head hard on the concrete wall behind him and he kept going in-and-out and when he'd come out he was disoriented and didn't even recognize his GF! They kept him there for an HR for observation and then he went back to his GF's where she kept an eye on him and said he napped a couple of hours and the headache went away but he was still dizzy and unsteady so she said she was going to take him to the ER to get checked out(esp. with his history of prior concussions from jiu-jitsu and any more only compounds it) and I haven't heard anything since but he got back at 5 am.(Beja heard and woke me up barking) .
It was good she was there with him though and he wasn't alone when it happened and that she's there to keep an eye on him for signs of head injury as it takes alot of the pressure off me(as it used to always be my responsibility) but of course I'm still worried sick with fear (you NEVER stop worrying about your kids even when they're adults!)and want an update as soon as I can get one.
I've always been extra worried about him,too, because ever since he was little I always had this bad "feeling" that he was going to die young and whenever I tired to envision his future it was always a blank.
I ask God to spare his life. I understand with my mother, Buddy, and my Soul Brother that they were at least old and at the end of their lifespan when they died, but he's still so young, yet part of me fears eventually I'm going to lose everyone or maybe instead of me dying God's taking everyone I love instead?
Beja also stole the insoles of my hubby's shoes( ha,ha) and even though he originally said a week ago he "wants nothing to do" with him he's quickly "warmed" to him and now he pets him, "hellos" him, plays with him, etc. and yesterday in the car(I had to take him with me to get a harness and needed to bring him to get the correct size; X-small as it turned out, big surprise, ha,ha) he was scared in the car; maybe he thought I was going to return him but he needn't worry; I don't want a return or exchange; I'm 100% happy with my purchase and he's a Keeper! I already have over 50 photos of him,too, and I used to call Buddy, Where's my Boy? and now for Beja I say, Where's my Little Boy? and I also refer to him as my Little Pipsqueak, my Little Nugget, my Little Peanut, and El Chapo which means Shorty. He also did a diarrhrea on the Persian rug in my bedroom overnight,too, I guess from the pepperoni he had last night. He's had other "accidents" in the house,too, but I'm always quick to clean them up before my hubby even notices.
While I was out yesterday I also got myself 3 pink roses, my first flowers of the year. I'd asked my hubby last week to pick me up some but he never did and said he thought they'd be "ugly" and I wouldn't like them even though I told him as long as they were "pink, purple, or pretty" he couldn't go wrong, and there was this big drug bust in town the other day as well( ha,ha) and a man was shot and killed at the Toronto airport,too,(he pulled a gun on them first though so it was justified in this case) and now the youngest is sick; he likely has whatever virus I had (and I still feel queasy) now Day 8 for me,and I still snuggle up in one of Buddy's blankets and cry ,missing him, but Beja is like a little ray of light that shines thru the tiny cracks in the darkness and Buddy used to have 2 cute little "whorls" of fur on his back end on either side of his tail that Beja does too but he also has 2 more as well, on both of his sides near his ribs and it's just the cutest thing.
Look closely...can you see them? Yesterday I saw 2 ducks swimming in the water on the top of our pool cover, and my hubby saw them too so I know I wasn't just stoned, imagining it, or hallucinating and then we got the photo to prove it, and I heard a cardinal yesterday as well but couldn't see him, although you'd think it wouldn't be too hard to spot a bright red bird in barren trees with no leaves( the buds are just starting to come out now) and for the first time I also noticed the grass is green now,too, and not all brown and dry anymore, and I also heard somewhere too that the Apocalypse is suppose to occur on a year when a Pope dies, so maybe... Our tulips and daffodils have also bloomed in our front garden as well so I'll have to cut them and bring them in the house before some shithead steals them.
She's lived and died
So many times, oh yeah!-Lenny Kravitz
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