Day Off.

Yesterday while everyone was out I had a nice quiet peaceful day home alone with Beja. I ordered-in this yummy food: Chicken Alfredo and boneless chicken wings( AKA glorified chicken nuggets). I was just originally going to order the pasta but they won't deliver under 20$ so I had to add the other,too, but I got more food and it did me 2 meals. I also put out my back( even more) by raking up the old dead leaves and other crap off the back porch, esp. the Black Walnut blossoms as Black Walnut nuts and shells are deadly toxic to dogs and Beja-Boy has a habit of eating everything and anything and as I was doing it I kept coughing too so with my "luck" I likely inhaled a bunch of spores, mold, fungus, etc.too....or end up having a heart attack from the exertion. My cousins also got back from Egypt yesterday and are now "back to life"; he's an engineer and she volunteers. Tomorrow it will also be exactly 8 weeks since my Buddy died and I cried over him again yesterday(a really big one!) and I will always miss him and still look forward until the day we meet again on the Other Side.

I also asked my hubby when he was out to pick me up a bouquet of pretty flowers and the dingus brings me back this: ugly potted flowers that remind me of funeral flowers and I also asked him to get a me a BIG (as in a litre) spray bottle and he comes back with this tiny dinky little thing not even 250ml( a cup) so I'll have to keep re-filling and when I got mad he didn't get the right thing HE got mad at ME for getting mad and said he "shouldn't even shop for me anymore" even though he was the one who got the wrong things and I told him all he has to do is follow the list and just get the RIGHT f*cking thing!!

I mean, how hard is that really?

You can also see from the photo here my tan; usually the top part of my hands are as pasty white as the bottoms but now you can clearly see the difference, and I also can't help but wonder if my jaundice from my liver is somehow "helping" with my tan( if so, thank you liver failure, at least you're good for something) and Beja will at times have this bad gagging choking cough and once he even had trouble breathing I hope he doesn't have a collapsed trachea like can be common in Toy breeds(or maybe he is just choking because he ate some crap he shouldn't have, also highly likely) but he does let me massage his throat so I guess he knows it helps and I'm scared I love him so much too because my anxiety also tells me what if something happens to him too and he dies and I lose him,too? I can't take any more death and loss but I just try NOT to think about it and just love him  as long as I have him. He also likes to purposely do a stretch(it looks like the Downward Dog yoga pose) because every time he does it I go, Oooooh, you're just so cute! so now he'll do it just for attention and praise.He's a real pill!😂

You're the one I want You're the one I need You're the one I had So come on back to me.-Greta Van Fleet