Midsummer.

Yesterday it rained all morning but it cleared and was sunny in the afternoon so I still got to go outside later in the day and today and tomorrow it's supposed to be 25 C and sunny so both good outside days....and then 29 C on Wednesday....and 34 C on Thursday feeling like 43 C and possible thunderstorm. Yesterday as I was out in the backyard I heard what sounded like someone working on a fence and I thought to myself It's too bad no one's doing our fence! but it turned out to actually be my hubby starting to work on it, ha,ha, and Beja kept barking as well telling me something was down in the basement so I thought he meant some kind of animal( we have a trap set up down there) but it actually just ended up to be my hubby (once again) either printing off another T-shirt or in his workshop doing something for the fence.

My hubby also never closes the doors to his bedroom or office so Beja can't get in and wreck havoc or pee and I'm always the one left stuck having to close them to keep him out, you know, being nice and doing him a favour, but now I don't even bother anymore considering how badly he treats me; now I just figure f*ck it and f*ck him; if it really bothers him that much then HE'D make the effort to keep them closed to keep him out....and if he doesn't well, then it's not MY problem and he has no one to blame but himself if Beja gets in there. I still close my bedroom door and the bathrooms though as well as the basement door but his stuff is his problem. There's also a Hindu temple being built in the nearby city and my only concern is that the redneck racists might arson it.

I also got more sunflowers(yay!) and heard as well that 54-40 will be the opening act for Foreigner I go see in October so that's a bonus, and either my shitless computer or our crap Internet is soooo slow it's taking forever this morning to upload all my photos and memes and images,etc. for my blog posts today (it took an hour just to do my previous post) so I hope you appreciate all the extra effort and work because it stressed me out to no end).

F*ck it and f*ck my life.

I also saw this pencil case online in Retro photos and it reminded me of when I was highschool. This was the top-of-the-line for pencil cases back in the 80's and I had one just like this and mine was the REAL DEAL,too; my friend's father imported goods from Asia on the Black Market  and brought them over and gave me one. I thought it was just THE coolest thing EVER.

The other day I also lamented online why doesn't God just put me out of my misery and someone replied that I'm not here by accident and that I have an impact, and that it can even come in the form of posting song lyrics someone needed to get thru their day and I hope that it's true; that my life really isn't a waste; that I have been a positive influence on someone, made someone smile, laugh, encouraged someone, inspired someone, cheered someone up, gave someone hope, faith, made them feel like they aren't so alone,etc. On another post I said it's just a matter of time we knew it was always going to happen....and I got a reply saying "Why wait?" but I HAVE tried to hurry it up.....

several times....

it just doesn't work.

Just like nothing ever works for me.

and for some reason it seems God just wants to prolong my suffering.

I’m not over the hill yet, but I’m old.-Beth.C.