New Hope, New Life.

Hey, check this out! This is a dead vine, with no signs of life until now.

I just noticed a brand-new sprout on the dead vine, just going to show that no matter how harsh and hopeless the circumstances and environment are there is still always a chance of new hope and new life and a fresh start.

Maybe there still is for me,too?

Yesterday was another perfect summer day: nice and warm but not humid or oppressive. Beja and I were outside all day again but today it's an inside day as it's raining but we do really need it though and so many maple trees are already starting to change colours on the top leaves now too to yellow, red, and orange, early, not usually until fall, likely due to low rainfall.

I also wonder why God doesn't just put me out of my misery and just keeps prolonging my suffering, and both my mother and Buddy declined in  the last few years before they died as well; the last 3-4 years of her life and the last 1-2 years of his. She used to go for walks into town 1-2 times a day well into her 70's and then she wasn't able to walk far anymore( like how I am now) and then she also started falling and unable to go up and down stairs and got the walker, and then later the wheelchair, and forgot words and how to spell, and her memory went and she often got confused  and she peed and shit in her bed and on the couch and even all over the floor, unable to make it to the bathroom and then she just slept in a bed all day.

 Buddy used to zoom all over the house and run around like crazy( like how Beja does now) and play and run up and down stairs and go for his much-loved walks several times a day and then he couldn't walk anymore and I had to carry him and he went blind and deaf and peed in his bed and peed and shit all over the house, stopped playing, and barked or howled unless I was constantly right by his side and he depended on me for everything and then he just slept all the time.

I see myself declining now as well: I can't walk much, far, or for long,anymore now,either, my mind is going, I'm always jet-lag exhausted and rundown tired and can't get thru the day without a nap(my hubby calls a "luxury" but for me is a necessity), and I have so many medical issues and chronic pain ,always short of breath, etc.

I hope it's soon.

He is the one who is cute, funny, smart, makes me laugh, heals me, fills my heart, and gives me a reason to live. My hubby also always scoffs when he hears my Reggae about the "terrible music" and I retort back, It's NOT the music that's 'terrible'; it's YOUR taste in music that's terrible!  and he likes redneck country music, which is the absolute WORST of all so what can he say, and I have this theory as well that Epstein isn't even really dead( suicide or murder) : I think his death was faked and when they took his supposed "body" out of prison he was actually  being smuggled out and now he's in exile living alive and well on Epstein Island back in business....

I'm a loner but I'm not alone.-Foreigner