Yesterday my Wee Peanut( or Weenut) had a dingleberry hanging from his ass by a long hair and he kept trying to get it off and I waited awhile to let him work it out himself and then realized he needed some help so I picked him up and removed it using toilet paper but he freaked out(just like he does when I cut his nails) squirming, wiggling, squawking and trying to bite me) even though I was just trying to help him....Buddy would not only let me wipe his ass but I also had to squeeze his ass and "pump" the turds out because he wasn't able to shit on his own....but then right after he kissed my face as a thank you(I guess finally realizing he felt better) but it hurts my heart though; there just seems to be this "barrier" I can't seem to break thru that I never had with Buddy; even just after 3 months of having him we already had this incredible bond and inexplicable trust and I love Beja dearly but he's not my soulmate like Buddy was and it's just not the same and when he gets like this it just feels like I'm 'going thru the motions."
I just plod thru each day, don't have any joy in life anymore and don't even enjoy the things I used to anymore and I'm just waiting and counting the days until I die. I simply have no will or reason to live anymore and nothing to look forward anymore, just stress and worry about $$$,chronic pain,still miss Buddy like crazy,and to tell you the truth I'm also fed-up with cooking and doing laundry for my ingrate family who don't even eat the food half the time and just complain so why do I even bother? I have nothing going for me, nothing to keep me here, just dragging my ass thru each day hoping each one will be my last.
It's also been the hottest summer in years and yesterday I finally heard crickets!
My Twitter also got over 25K views in just the past week and the 30 YR old got a bad sunburn awhile ago working 3-4 HRS topless helping his GF in her garden but now it's turned into a nice tan and tomorrow he has his final driver's test and he's so obsessed with his GF as well he calls her as soon as he gets home from work as soon as he gets in the door before he even gets up the stairs, and I think she looks "trashy" as well; wears really short skirts and shorts and "crop tops" and has really BIG tattoos that practically cover her arms and legs. I also notice when he goes out somewhere on his own he dresses more "Preppy" and like he's going on a yacht or Country club(so I guess that's his style) but when he's with her he dresses more like a "tough" guy or a "Greaser"(so I guess that's what she likes).
A local Chinese buffet also got shut down by the health unit as it was shown on video someone going to the Dumpster behind the restaurant bring stuff(I presume thrown-out food) into the place but I wonder why would anyone do that? Wouldn't you just keep the food longer and NOT throw it out rather than throw it out only to retrieve it from the garbage later? I wouldn't be surprised if it was a set-up actually; a rival doing it to make them look bad. My hubby thinks I'm always a "Conspiracy Theorist" but it's just that I always look deeper and there's usually more to things than it appears.
We also finally paid off my mother's remaining debt to the collection agency yesterday but they wanted to talk to me on the phone( despite my autism and Social Phobia) making it harder telling my hubby it was some long process that takes 5 days or so and they said to pay by cheque and he replied NO ONE EVEN HAS CHEQUES ANYMORE and wanted to just pay online by e-transfer and he finally convinced them, but what the f*ck,though? Do they want to get paid,or what? Why do they have to make it so complicated? He also made me pay from MY bank account( even though I have less $$$ than he does and it's his job to pay bills and expenses,etc. and my mother and I paid for everything for years and now it's his turn) because she's "my mother and it's her estate and I'm the executor" which pissed me off but I'm just glad to finally have it done so I won't have to worry about them coming after the house(which I inherited from her and is the only income from her estate) to get paid.
This is also my funny lighter, and it's also ironic and hypocritical my hubby also makes fun of me for "sitting in my own filth" (dirty bath water) for 10 minutes or so yet yesterday HE ate a cob of corn ( my Dedushka always called cattle food) he'd left festering in a pot of skungy water for a few days on the stove!
Just ewwwww!!!
At least I don't drink MY dirty water!
I also like the pants below and today is day 4 of my baaaad abdomenal pain and I also feel sweaty today(and nauseaous,too) but it's supposed to be the last day of the heatwave.....or at least for awhile.
If you listen to your body when it whispers, you will never have to hear it scream.-Elaine.M.Lee
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