Little F*cker.

 Did you see last night's post Autumn Daze?

So much for me thinking Beja was being loving to me again.

Last night when I kissed him(which I know he likes) he bit my nose and NOT in a playful way,either, the little f*cker!

I flipped him over onto his back and held him there for awhile, the "Alpha" move, letting him know who's boss.

I still can't believe he did that.

What an asshole thing to do.

I'm not even sure if I like him anymore.

I still can't believe the newly-minted 31 YR old( it's his birthday today!) broke up with his GF. I'm sort of glad in a way because she was always hanging around here and it made me feel awkward but now he'll also be home all the time too, stealing Beja even more, although now he bit me I'm not even sure I care anymore. Maybe I should just let him have  him and just get another dog for me that will love me. If he can "replace" me I can replace him,too, just as easily. His GF used to do everything  for him,too, from cooking meals to booking appt's, and she even had every single little detail micro-managed on this big wall calendar for him,too, but maybe that was the problem? Maybe he just felt "suffocated?" They pretty well were together all the time and maybe it just got to be too much? In any case, I've always had "Bad Vibes" about her and there was always just something about her I didn't trust and it's a good thing he found out whatever it was before they ended up getting married.

Nothing lasts forever.

Just enjoy it while it lasts.

Both the 31 YR old and I are at a "crossroads" in life at the same time now as well: he's currently in-between jobs and girlfriend-less and I have no purpose, meaning, or joy in my life anymore now Buddy's gone and just want to die and pray God sends me and shows me a reason to live and sends someone in my life to love me like Buddy did and gives me some answers: should I go on another trip? Should I get another dog? or should I just keep on trying to kill myself until I finally get it right?We both seem to be in a sort of "limbo" in our lives now where we don't know what direction it's going or where we're heading and yet at the same time I know that God will provide just like He always does and I know He will give us both guidance, direction, answers, and a new hope, even though right now we both just seem stuck.

No reward for suicide No pain in blood can still be felt Mother Mary, Jesus Christ I wish you heard me cryin' out for help.-Ozzy Osbourne