Our Christmas.

 Did you see my post earlier today Feliz Navidad?

Here is a recap of our Christmas.My new sunflower I got in my stocking is shown here, in the middle. My abdomenal pain is really baaaad and with any luck it will kill me. It's just beeen a really baaaaaaad year for me with Buddy dying, esp. when I was still fresh with grief just losing my mother 4 months before and having to deal with all her estate stuff being her executor and the grief and loss, etc. was all just overwhelming so I'll be more than glad to see this year go. Today didn't even feel like Christmas either but just like any other regular day. We didn't gather around the tree as a family and open gifts like we used to(everyone's having their "Christmas" later when they visit the girls in BC,without me); my hubby said he opened his from me last night when I was up in bed and mine was just left under the tree unwrapped.(It's the soft weighted blanket shown below and I can't wait to try it out tonight!) and we didn't have our big formal dinner in the diningroom like we used to,either, the food was prepared and left out and everyone just sort of came and went and got it at their own time thru the day. I also only got to spend time with Beja in the morning before the 31 YR old got up and then he was off with him the rest of the day.

I suddenly just feel really lonely today.

Early in the morning before anyone else got up I sat outside smoking mi ganja, enjoying the serenity peace and quiet, wishing Jesus a happy birthday and a few flurries came down but the 31 YR old got up when I sat down next to him scowling that I "really stink" even though I have a bath every day and my hubby scoffed Probably weed!  and he goes, No, even worse than that! It's indescribable! and it just hurt my heart. I don't "stink" and he's just as mean to me on Christmas as he is any other day. He can't even be nice to me on one day.😭

My hubby also told me he got drunk and was an asshole last night and his GF called him to come get him and bring him back home and he even threatened to call the police on her even though he was the problem and they had a big fight and broke up( again; they don't seem to have  much "luck" with holidays; they broke up last time just before his birthday in October) and when I asked him about it of course he denied it, even though both his GF and my hubby said the same thing but he says they're "just making it up."

Yeah,.....riiiiight.

This is also the hand-made gift the 31 YR old hand-sewed for his now ex-GF's gift(it took him 8 hours and was made from love and is supposed to be a dog even though I think it  looks more like a turtle and is made out of a combo of both of their sweaters) which I think was thoughtful and sweet and he also gave her a pair of boots and later today she stopped by to drop off his gift and also to find and collect and to bring back with her all the bottles of booze he had hidden, unbeknownst to us, thru the house.

That boy is seriously an ALCOHOLIC.

Neither my hubby or I even drink at ALL.

He needs to go to A.A. or something and I seriously don't know how  an alcoholic thinks he can possibly handle Med School.

I'm just sooooooo disappointed in him.

I also read somewhere that Bam Margera is worth 55 million$$$ too so I guess being a Jackass must pay well!

"I feel I have more people waiting for me in heaven than here on earth. "- Brandon Buckingham