10 %.

It continues to snow, and snow, and snow, and snow....now it's also the heavy, wet, dense, "packing" snow, and I put my back out even more shovelling. Ugh.

My hubby picked up some groceries for the 31 YR old yesterday as well who said now an additional 40% have now dropped out of his Pre-Med course, as well as the original 50% that dropped out the first week, so that's now a grand total of 90% out of the original class that's gone now, leaving just 10% of them left now 2 weeks later.

Holy shit.

We also have sooooo much snow now( and it just keeps on coming, with more today and tomorrow still) it's as high as Beja is tall! What I also don't understand is how the 31 YR old can steal Beja off me without any remorse esp. since he was there with me when Buddy died(I knew it was Time and I called him over so he could say goodbye) and he saw my sorrow and anguish  and how broken I was and he knows how much I needed Beja to help heal my heart and how he's all I have now,  and he knows how much he means to me, and now my biggest worry is that he moves back home and I lose Beja to him all over again, esp. now that we've re-connected again.

I also do wonder more and more now if maybe I do have a brain tumour and it's pressing on the left side of my face esp. with the stabbing pain behind my left eye and the left side of my nose has been clogged for over a year now as well( but the right side is ok)  and I can't smell out of that side, and my left ear/jaw area often aches too and my left cheek often feels numb. It really does make me wonder, plus with the headaches as well.  I still smile as well remembering my grade 10 math class how the Heavy Metal band Quiet Riot (who I still like today)was our unofficial band of our class and for the school photo these boys held up album covers, flags and posters of the band and I didn't want to be in the photo with my ugly mug( plus it was also my Homeroom and I also had the dilemma of actually being in grade 11 at the time but re-doing grade 10 math  but it was humiliating and embarrassing having a grade 10 subject as my homeroom  as everyone would think I was in grade 10  and didn't exactly want to publically advertise it in the Yearbook) so I just hid behind these tall boys and the flag. I also took grade 12 Geography( a year ahead) but of course with MY "luck" that one (a year ahead) out of the 8 classes/subjects I had wasn't my Homeroom, but it  of course it had  to be the grade 10 math, the year behind , because, you know, that's how life always is for me.

It figures.

May whatever the fck happened last year never find me again.-Saad