Huggy-Fish.

My hubby informed me that yesterday was Huggy Fish's birthday.

Huggy-Fish is the 26 YR old's fave. and most beloved childhood toy. It's shown here and below: it's a plush fish toy with bright red, yellow, and blue. It's over 20 YRS old now and my hubby showed me a recent photo of it and it's now all well-loved and all worn-out and faded white and all the colour's gone and it was just the saddest thing ever. He laughed, "I thought you didn't care?" and I told him, "I didn't think I did until you showed me."

That's NOT how I want to remember it.

That's just sad and now I wish he never showed me that.

I prefer to remember it as the bright red, yellow and blue that it used to be.

I know exactly how it feels and looks though.

 I look and feel the same way; all faded and "spent".

He says he's even going up to Toronto to visit her to celebrate Huggy-Fish's birthday party.

Uh,ok... 😂

This is me holding the now 22 YR old, next to the now 26 YR old holding Huggy-Fish standing next to the now 29 YR old. This YR they turn 23, 27, and 30.

Yesterday I also accidently called Beja "Buddy" again and I still do the odd time  even though it's almost been a year already and I cut his nails yesterday as well which I absolutely hate  doing as I always get bitten and scratched, and Buddy would let me cut his nails( he didn't like it but he'd sit there calmly in my lap and let me) and look at and fix his sore paws or ears, or pick something stuck in his fur, or look in his mouth, etc. but NOT Beja.

He bites me.

It's just NOT the same.

It never will be.

I will always miss him.

This is also MY beloved childhood toy from when I was 4.

That makes him 55 years old!

His name is Scottish Guy (pronounced Gee, with a hard "G" like in geese) because that's how Scottish people say "guy." as I decided he was a Scottish Terrier even though they're actually black and not red.

This is also the same toy my abuser threatened to throw and burn in the furnace if I ever told anyone he was molesting me.

It's also been 16 months in April since my mother died and it was also 16 months she was in the LTC home before she died.

This is also the 24 (soon-to-be 25) YR old when she was 2.

She also posted this photo up on her business with the caption:

"This is who you trust with your hair."

I think it's hilarious.

My hubby also insists that the word peoples is proper English but I disagree; you don't say Black peoples or White peoples or Chinese peoples, etc. you say Black people, White people ,Chinese people, etc. People is one of those "funny" English words where it stays the same singular and plural, like moose or deer. All day yesterday my stomach also really hurt and it still hurts today as well.

Ugh.

I also was woken up by the strong stink of skunk this morning and it was soooo bad it permeated my entire room!

This is one my fave. photos of some of the kids in Sea World in San Diego several years back and below was me at age 40(I like this photo; I actually look half-decent in this one) shortly after I had the youngest who is now 19. My labour with him was induced due to my liver failure and even though it WAS induced and I was already 4cm dilated before induction it still took 14 1/2 HRS (I've always had long, difficult labours; my first was 24 HRS!) yet even so it was still my shortest.

Yeah, I know, everything  has always been hard and  a struggle for me.

𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶.-The Shift Journal