The Poors.

Just look at the horrible thing asshole Trump posted about someone who just died! Isn't he just awful? he's just soooo tactless, tasteless, and classless, and has NO IDEA the biiiig party and celebration that will take place once his Time comes! It will be a world-wide holiday!  I also have comfort in knowing when I die that Beja will be cared for and happy with either my hubby or the 31 YR old, both who he likes more than he likes me anyway so that's at least some consolation and some good to come of it, and I often wonder how different  my life would have been if I'd stayed in Toronto and if I'd never met my hubby or had kids.

Waaaaay less trauma that's for sure, and much happier,too, I bet.

I can't help but wonder how different my life would have been and I would have been(not so broken) if things had been different and I had made different choices and I long for and miss the life I could  have had and enjoyed instead of the miserable one I had.

I also heard that the rich folks refer to us "peasants" , the Proletariat, the Middle Class, the working folks, etc. as The Poors and I both laughed and rolled my eyes as it was both funny and  pretentious at the same time, eg. "The Poors have to take public transit" or "The Poors  have to do their own shopping" etc.

HA.

That's us! 😁

With winter the one thing I also miss the most( besides sitting outside in the sun) is not having flowers in the house.

Tomorrow is also the youngest's birthday; he turns 19 and I think I must be getting a cold now as well, not surprising considering the weather fluctuation, 12C and rain one day and then -20C and snow the next day; I still have That Headache  I've had since the weekend plus I also have the sore ears and neck and feel really dizzy and now also feel cold and have the "chills" and my nose is running now,too. There was also an Air Canada crash on a runway in NYC but this time it actually wasn't Air Canada's fault; it was the ATC's fault; they gave the plane clearance to land....but there was a firetruck on the runway for some reason(what was it even doing there? The only thing that should even be on the runway are jets taking off and landing!) and they collided as the plane was landing, killing the 2 pilots who were young and just starting their careers. It made me think of the 26 YR old's friend from their teen years who is now a pilot and who adored  her and I always hoped they would get together and I bet he would have actually married  her,too, unlike her BF now who just "uses" her; she's just "good enough" to shack up with but not to marry.

My hubby also says now he wants to move closer to the chess community and his chess buddies have been encouraging him to do so and keeps pressuring me to sell the house but he either doesn't "get" it or just doesn't care but this is my home  and I don't want  to sell it, to leave, to move. I'm settled  here, my life is here, my doctor is here, I've planted my roots here, I've been here for 23 YRS now, I raised my family here and have my memories here, my backyard is my secluded, private sanctuary, I don't want  to start over again; I've started over  and moved so many times and I'm done, and I HATE  packing and moving, the stress and disruption,etc. and I'm NEVER doing it ever again, I'm going to die here,and we can't even afford  the expense of moving and we'd never be able to get enough selling this house to even be able to afford to buy anything else, all waaaay out of our price range.

F*ck it.

He'll just have to wait until I die and then he  can sell it and do whatever he wants.

It's sort of "ironic" and karmic as well how all along the 24 YR old had always said (sneered is more like it) to me that all the bad things, bad luck, misfortune, etc. in my life that happen to me is "karma" for being such a "horrible" person and she always said cruel things about Buddy...and yet now her pet might have cancer so now she knows what it feels like to care about something she could lose and I can't help but wonder too if karma has come for her now,too, for being such a Mean Girl,  the VERY THING she always taunted me for.

No one knows what it's like to be the bad man To be the sad man behind blue eyes No one knows what it's like to be hated To be fated, to telling only lies But my dreams, they aren't as empty As my conscience seems to be.-The Who