Time.

I found these photos of Buddy and I from 3 years or so ago and I was also checking my old blog posts and was shocked to see that I've had the congestion on the left side of my face and had to have my daily naps for 6 years now and I was surprised it's been that long but time goes by so fast and that I've also had my baaaaad cough for 5-6 years or so and my chronic daily pain for the past 13 years so no wonder I'm fed-up with life and am more than ready and eager to cross over to the Other Side! Yesterday I also had That Headache again as well as the ear and neck pain and I was soooo dizzy as well and had blurry vision and chills yet at the same time my forehead felt warm, like with a fever. I'm just so f*cked-up. I also saw my Angel Bird last night after not seeing him in awhile and it was at night,too, just before sunset which is odd as I never see him at night but during the day and I know it was him,too,and not just any old cardinal as he was extra bright red and really fat. It was him.

My hubby also got back last night just before 8 pm, earlier than he though but he'd also mis-judged time and weather and it took 7 hours when he'd estimated 5 hours  and overnight they got 30 cm of snow(Quebec always gets LOTS of snow and more than we do) and it was still going strong so he left early( 11 am) and missed most of Sunday's games(it went until 8 pm) as he decided to leave early otherwise he'd figure he wouldn't get home until 3 am and he has to get up at 6 am for work, plus Montreal traffic is as bad as Toronto traffic plus their potholes are even worse  than Toronto's(if you can believe it!) and we all know Quebec has the worst drivers in the country although I've still seen worse in Paris and Rome.

The radio DJ also said generally women don't like Rush but I call bullshit; I LOVE them( and have seen them live in concert) and have ever since I was 12-13 years old, and my hubby is also the only person I've ever met who doesn't like Queen or AC/DC  so there must be something inherently wrong with him, and my friend P(from grade 6) is in Florida now so I hope ICE agents don't detain her, and I heard the weirdest thing,too:blind hockey! How can they find the puck or tell their team mates from their opponents and not bump into eachother while skating? The whole thing just seems so bizarre, and my hubby said the 24 YR old got over 1K in donations for her cat as well which just boggles my mind that total strangers would just give $$$ away like that, not just for a stupid cat( esp. when you can just find them on the street for free) but how do they even know the person they're donating to is even going to use it for what they say, such as a sick pet or child,etc? How do they know they won't just go on a shopping spree or blow it at the casino? He said it got the lump surgically removed from its paw and gets a biopsy. I also can't see all the fuss just for a cat.

 I just can't.

Beja also growled at me today when I took the string off him from my hubby's yoga mat he snatched and was chewing on and I was mad and hurt; how dare he growl at me! Buddy never growled at me. It also hurts I'm always just the "last resort" and he prefers my hubby and the 31 YR to me and I'm only good enough if they're not around(with Buddy there was absolutely no doubt that I was his Person), and there will always be this "barrier" between us I never had with Buddy, and I also have to hand-feed him or toss food for him to forage for like feeding pigeons and I think Chihuahuas are just born divas,ha,ha, and yesterday he did a turd on the Persian rug but luckily my hubby wasn't here to see it but I love him and have his back and "cover" for him when he is and yet he growls at me, and when I posted the photo of my computer desk on Twitter some troll commented how filthy & disgusting my dirty desk and keyboard was,etc. and I told them "Who ASKED you? For f*ck's sake, mind your own business!" and put up an Up Yours! photo in reply.

 My God, people are such assholes!

I feel like I am already dead, or that I am dying more every day.-Angel