Detached.

Ugh.

I always feel so sick( esp. the past couple of days) I just feel so detached from life.

yesterday my headache was sooooo baaad I thought my head would explode and assumed my BP must be high causing the killer headache but it was actually low( esp. for me) : 114/65( normal is 120/80) so it wasn't that and today my stomach & abdomenal pain is soooo bad it feels like I'm being kicked by a horse. I'm just soooo tired of always hurting all the time and always feeling so bad. This morning I had a nice soothing lavender Epsom salt bath to help ease my aching stiff sore bod but it's only temporary. 

I just always feel so ick.

I also have this really gross taste in my mouth for the past few days and soooooo dizzy and yesterday I felt like I was going to pass out all day.

Beja and I got to have a nice day outside yesterday at least( the fresh air and sun helps) but today it's pouring  rain and dark(like night time) and it makes me feel even more fatigued and lethargic.

It feels like I'm fading away and I think I'm dying and I hope I am.

Statistically I'm most likely to die this month because most people in our family die in May...

Here is Beja hunting squirrels. He's so cute as well when he wants me to follow him to play he'll nip at my bottom pant leg and bite it and tug on it and pull me along to follow him where he wants me to go. The other day I was also looking at the sunrise from the 31 YR old's old room and as I was there I also noticed he has a few plants in his window that are almost dead as he's been gone since January and they have been forgotten and abandoned and not watered so i felt sorry for them and gave them a drink and hope maybe I can 'revive" them. It's also a long holiday weekend coming up and on Monday it's supposed to go up to a balmy 23C!

Yay!

I also saw this Sanford & Son  from the TV show I used to watch in the 70's.

The 70s and 80s had the BEST TV shows, esp. sitcoms and the 70s had alot of Black-themed shows as well, incl. my fave. show as a kid What's Happening!! I also got a photo of the leaves on our vines(shown below) and this week our garbage was only half-full and my hubby didn't want to put it out paying for just half a bag but I also wasn't going to keep rotting garbage with chicken bones in the kitchen for 2 weeks either so I just took some of the recycling(they were complaining about earlier) and put it in the garbage to fill it up and this week we only put out 3 recycling bins so we'll see if they all get picked up this week...

Do u ever see ur reflection and go uh how could anyone love me?-Fluttershy