Pap Test.

I finally got my Pap test results and to my surprise they were normal; I don't have cervical cancer, which surprised me actually, esp. considering the blister the nurse found on my cervix plus the heavy foul-smelling discharge,and it would also explain all my symptoms I've had this past year, but it doesn't necessarily mean that I don't have cancer though, just that I don't have cervical cancer; it still could be some other kind as I suspect, maybe even ovarian cancer, esp. given that I do still have that walnut-sized cyst on my right ovary that continues to grow and get bigger. My doctor isn't worried about it but why does it keep getting bigger though, and how do they know it's just a cyst and not a tumour? Afterall, all I got was an ultrasound for it, and they aren't the most detailed scans and I continue to have the bad abdomenal and lower back pain, the abnormal bleeding, the bloating and severe fluid retention, debilitating fatigue,etc..

  I'm also pretty sure that I had another seizure last night in my sleep and it must have been a pretty good one,too as when I woke up this morning I could see I'd bitten my lip during the night(and why else would I have done that?) and all my muscles are really sore today,too.I just wish they could figure out what causing it all. I bought this really plush, fuzzy, soft blanket and Buddy loves it so much too he stole it....and so did the 24 YR old,too; it went missing and I found it up in his room....wrapped around his naked ass! Ewwww!! That's just so nasty and gross! Now I can't put my face on it anymore!

  The 11 YR old's also being his usual bratty self but I'm the only one who ever says anything about it as both my mother(who is obsessed with him and always excuses him) and my hubby always coddle and excuse him and whenever I say anything they accuse me of always 'picking' on him; this time he lost at a video game the kids were playing so he raged and unplugged the 24 YR old's controller and then he threw the controller and hit him so Buddy barked at him as he doesn't like yelling or any kind of aggression and then he threw a pillow at him and stomped away, hitting the 15 and 17 YR olds on the way by and when I told him off he told me to go kill myself and told my mother to shut up. The 24 YR old calls it his Autistic rages and I don't know what it is but it's very disturbing and he just gets so out of control and says the most disturbing things it really worries me but I'm the only one it seems to concern and in this family I have no say and no authority and I'm always over-ruled and vetoed.

  My hubby also always likes to sabotage my "discipline" with my dog,too, just to confuse him,and to over-rule, sabotage, veto, demean, dismiss, and piss off me. Yesterday,.for example, the 24 YR old had the door open for something so I commanded him to Stay! to keep him safe, so he wouldn't run outside, and so he sat there obediently and stayed....and then just to be a shit-disturber(like always) my hubby tells him, It's ok, go!....GO!...GO!....go outside!" just to take "control" over me, and off he goes..... he is the BIGGEST asshole in the world and he knows my dog means everything to me and he won't even let me have that; he always has to ruin everything for me and take everything I love away from me.