Onward!

Last night I had a dream I was kissing another man and my hubby saw. He also saw that for the first time in years, in decades, that I was smiling and laughing, that I was happy, and he was mad, even though he doesn't love me or want me but then he eventually let me go and let me live my own life, set me free, and let me be happy. In actualy reality though I remember him one time threatening me if I ever did that he would destroy me, incl. no child support, even going as far as quitting his job to make sure that I get nothing financially and there was always the threat of getting custody of the kids, of course( which he did try before one time when we split up back in the early 90's and we even went to court over but eventually reconciled) but none of that holds over me anymore; I don't care anymore; if he wants the kids he can have them. I'm done. As for finances, I can always just go on disability, or if I re-marry my new hubby will take care of me. At this point I just want to be free. I don't want to have to depend on him anymore, be "beholden" to him, to have him "hold" anything above me, to threaten me, manipulate me, control me, hold any sort of power or control over me, etc... I've had enough. I'm done.

I want to find happiness and love.

I want to be free.

I want to be happy.

I want the Old Me back.

Onward!