Today's Truth.

Monday Musings.

Pondering For Today.

Say WHAT?

The other day the 24 YR old made some off-hand comment that I Don't know what it's like to be addicted... and I was thinking, Oh, my God! Does he have some sort of drug addiction? When I asked him about it he just brushed it off saying it was a joke and that I (being on the Spectrum) must have not understood it or something to that effect, that it wasn't serious yet this nagging worry still plagues me, so I don't know if it's a mother's Sixth Sense or just my bipolar making me paranoid. I told him that if he does have a drug addiction he's not in trouble; we just need to know so that we can help him ( I fear he could die of an overdose or aomething!) and then I remembered my mother's $$$$$ that went missing, that someone stole, and that how it's always the one you least expect..... and it's NOT uncommon for someone with a drug addiction to steal in order to feed their habit, and he added that he Doesn't have enough $$$ to buy drugs... so it does make me wonder and I hope not because he's always been one of my favourites and I worry about him; he's always been so isolated, he doesn't have many friends, he spends most of his time online, maybe he's depressed......I hope so much he's OK but I worry so much and he's always been so....mysterious....If anything happened to him it would shatter my heart and soul into a million pieces.

My hubby is also out of focus: in just the same week he lost both his health card AND his driver's license. The 12 YR old found the health card in the driveway and the license was in his office downstairs behind his desk. He always makes fun of me for being forgetful and not rememmbering and calls me old (even though mine is medical, most likely due to my kidney failure which causes brain fog and confusion) and now look at him! HA!

Chuckle For The Day.

Tia.

This is the oldest person I have ever known personally. She is my friend A's ( from Ottawa) aunt, or more precisely, great aunt, as she's his mother's aunt. They call her Aunty or Tia which is Spanish ( they're from Chile) for Aunty. She had a birthday just the other day and turned 101 years old! Before that the oldest person I knew was a Jehovah's Witness man who was in his late 90's. I remember Tia from back in the 80's when we were neighbours. They lived across the street from us and  I remember going over to their house for dinner for Christmas after Midnight Mass and Tia made the BEST homemade turkey  stuffing I've ever had! I think I know her secret to living so long: she never married or had kids! She did have a Great Love once but he died in WWII. it's so sad. She's the nicest, sweetest lady ever and I was surprised when I re-connected with A (he's now a lawyer and his sister is a doctor) that she's still alive because she was old then but I was glad to hear it.

As well my hubby went to the doctor about his ear I thought sounded like an inner-ear infection and sure enough it was.....but he also had him look at his arm that has  a big lump on it and hurts....and it's a tumour! Hopefully it's just a lipoma or something; a harmless fatty tumour and NOT cancer but he's getting an ultrasound this week to find out more. I have to say I wasn't expecting that and how weird would it be if we both have cancer? I'm so run-down tired today(and yesterday) I slept in an hour late! I wonder too if my hubby might be poisoning Buddy too and that's what's causing his episodes as it's always after he eats and now he won't go near his food and only eat my left-overs I give him under my supervision....and the other day I gave my hubby some of his left-over beef and he wouldn't eat it saying it wasn't fresh but it made me wonder if something more might be going on....like maybe he poisoned it and doesn't want to eat it because he knows it's been tampered with....

The 12 YR old also got mad at me yesterday for dinner I only gave him one mini pizza and not two(even though I also gave him broccoli and taco bites with it) but there were only 2 of them left so he and the 16 YR old got them and I was planning on having one for my dinner too but we didn't have enough so I had to go without and only ended up having a yogurt for my dinner, so I basically had nothing to eat and he complains that he only got one when I got none! I also overheard my mother telling the 12 YR old to scratch her back too and it makes me wonder if  she has him wipe her ass too....

A Wee Bit 'O Daft Craic With An Old Radgie Gadgie.

Today's Thought.

Seriously, What The F*ck?

Now my mother accused me of not helping her.

Uh, what? Excuse me?

I'm just the one doing everything around the house, cooking, dishes, laundry, etc. plus I bring her food and drinks.....but I don't help her? Really? Is she serious?: WTF? No matter what I do it's never good enough. It's never enough. If she means that I don't help her physically, like lifting her or carrying her( because she continues to take advantage and play up her bruised knee and be lazy and lay around acting helpless despite the doctor telling her she should be up and moving around it's because I can't; I don't have the physical strength to do so, and I know if I did I'd put my bad back even more and we'd both go down. I can't help it that I lack the physical strength, that she weighs more than I do, that I have medical issues of my own to deal with ( but no one cares about that; it's just me) plus I have a hard time dealing with her like this; I can't watch, face it or deal with it. But then again, no one cares about me or considers my feelings, abilities, or struggles.

My hubby also yelled at me when the garbage can didn't have a bag in it even though it was the 24 YR old who took the old bag out(garbage is his chore and everyone has to help out, why should I have to do everything(I told him if it bothers him that much he can put a bag in himself) and I'm so exhausted and tired I slept in almost an hour late today!) and he should have been the one to put a new bag in; I'm not doing everything myself and besides I'll put my back out bending over down low like that and I already put it out every day loading and unloading the dishwasher, the pain is so bad(but unlike my mother I suffer quietly; lately my back, abdomen, and stomach hurt, plus headaches) but no one notices, cares, sees, or gives a shit because it's just me and I don't matter and I'm not important. I could die and no one would notice or care.

Daily Chuckle.

I Can't Believe It!

Things I can't believe:

Why my family is so mean to me: More examples: the 12 YR old accused me of trying to poison him because he found some greenies on his hotdog bun even though I thought I picked them all off. I'm just trying to feed him and we're always short on food and I'm just trying to do the best I can with what we've got. My hubby also yelled at me because when I cook dinner I won't make a separate dinner for him(like my mother does) because he's picky and won't eat what everyone else eats. Too bad. It's not a restaurant. Eat what's served or make your own. He's a grown adult and perfectly capable of making hisown food if he doesn't like what's offered. My skin is also been soooooo dry and itchy lately so I put a good moisturizer on it and my mother harps Don't use too much; it costs 25$ a jar! yet she says nothing and doesn't care if other people use it, or how much; just me. It's like I'm not "worth" the expensive stuff, the good stuff. I only "deserve" the cheap stuff, the crap, and she moved her bed into the rec-room so she doesn't have to go up and down stairs now and I get it but now she's taken over. The redc-room is where I've always had my computer set up in my little nook and now she thinks she can just come in and take over; she yelled at me to turn off the lights as she wanted to go to bed( even though I need them to see) and was blasting her pussy music on her radio she knows annoys me(so I had to blare my music even louder to drown it out) even though I WAS here FIRST and have been for YEARS before she comes in and just thinks she can take over, like I don't matter and can just be displaced and disrupt my schedule, because, well, you know, I don't matter.

How the NDP leader, being a devout Sikh, who won't eat meat because killing animals, but he thinks nothing of KILLING a preborn CHILD thru abortion. For the most part I agree most with NDP policies trying to make life more affordable for people just not with their abortion policy but this just seems highly hypocritical, that he cares more about animal's lives than he does about the most vulnerable human beings.

Pretty much everything USA does and is about. They are Imperialist war-mongers, act like the schoolyard bully and the policeman of the world, always interfering in other nations, bullying them, boycotting them, invading them, stealing their resources, etc. and then they wonder why everyone hates them, plus their penchant for war, their sick love and obsession of guns, their zealous nationalism and how they worship their flag and their anthem( and the Christian, Jewish and Muslim Scriptures all condemn any forms of idol worship) and how they're obsessed with 9/11 and it's been 18 years; get over it! Sure it's tragic that all those people were killed but they act like they're somehow "special" for having been victims of a terrorist attack when it happens to people in other countries all the time and the way they provoke and invade other countries so often then they act all surprised when they defend themselves any way they can and fight back, Why do they hate us? Why do they attack us? Really?

Political Correctness. It's just ridiculous and has gone too-far. Now here in Canada you can even be charged with a hate crime if you have an unpopular opinion (say, speaking out against LGBT, for example) or speak the truth no one wants to hear. Our freedom of speech and expression is gone now. Everyone has been censored and religious rights and freedoms are gone and religious are persecuted and in Quebec they even passed a law discriminating againt wearing religious symbols in public. Yes, you heard that right; you can't wear hijabs, kippahs, turbans, crucifix necklaces, etc.

There's more but this is what comes to mind right now.....it's CRAZY!!