Just a word of advice here, a public service: don't pluck your eyebrows after you've just had weed. Just sayin'. I did this the other day a few hours after wed, forgetting that I'd had weed, I just noticed that I need a plucking and away I went with the tweezers, but I don't see too well normally and my perception was off even more due tot he weed and this was the result. It's hard to see too clearly in the photo but there are actual bald spot in-between. I gasped the next morning when I got up washed my face and looked in the mirror. Oh, my God. At least the good thing about hair is it grows in quickly and in the meantime when I go out in public I can always cover it in with an eyebrow pencil. I remember in highschool I had this friend S who never had any eyebrows at all and I don't mean she shaved them off and penciled them in like some people do; she just didn't have any; at all. It was a unique look yet somehow it suited her. I never had the nerve to ask her why it like that even though I always wondered and wanted to know but I came close once asking, How do you get your eyebrows like that?(instead of What happened to your eyebrows? sort of thing) and she just laughed and said It's not hard..... but she didn't have alopecia or anything because she had hair.....it will forever be a mystery about her eyebrows, ha,ha....
We also got a letter in the mail about a follow-up app't at the opthomologist for the 12 YR old at the end of next month and hopefully it's nothing more than a follow-up with the eye ultrasound results and nothing to worry about but of course me being a mother and riddled with anxiety my first thought was Oh, my God! What did they find? What did the scan show? Does he have retinoblastoma or something? If everything was ok why didn't they just phone us? The 16 YR old's also been extra tired and grumpy lately too and it concerned me so I asked her if she was ok, concerned she wasn't feeling well or the depression might be back, seriously concerned and she yelled at me SHUT UP!! Stop talking! You're so ANNOYING!!! and it just broke my heart and later on I just went off and cried. I just love her(I love the kids more than they think I do) and worry about her and am trying to take care of her and she just shuts me out and keeps pushing me away, being so mean. It really hurts me. I also mentioned how if I died no one except my dog would care or even notice, they'd be like Oh, she's not here? I never even noticed! and my mother retorted They'd just think you were outside! (because I love being outside in the sun and I try to be as much as I can because my days are numbered and soon I'll have to hibernate indoors all winter for practically half the year) but they won't have to try too hard to find her either,though; just laying in her bed waiting for her family slaves to wait on her. She's such a bitch. I bet no one will even show up at my funeral. It's like my friend H in Austria told me, You can't choose your family....
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