The Cultural Divide.

I remember reading somewhere that younger kids are not racist or discriminatory and that they'll play with everybody and that the "cultural divide" doesn't generally begin until the teen years, until highschool and then people generally start hanging out with people of their own social status and race. In my case that ended up only being partly true; with the status part but not race. In highschool, for example, 95% of my friends were Chinese and the other 5% were Greek, Indian, or Armenian....but social status we were all the same; well-off or even rich. At that point I had learned and been conditioned by my life experiences to no longer associate with "white trash" and rednecks due to past expeiences with them being tough, bullies, mean,violent, etc. When I was younger even though I was well-off I still had some friends that weren't; I had friends that were poor and even some typical white trash who had alcoholic parents on welfare and lived in gov't housing. My best friend T in grade 5 for example and her hair and clothes were often dirty and she smelled and was bullied for having lice but that didn't matter to me because she was my friend and when she moved away I was really sad, and J in grade 5 was really poor and her brothers were even in a gang and she always threatened to beat me up, and my friend N in grade 6 was the same, as was N in grade 7 and as it turned out she was also a victim of incest too and she was mocked in school and no one liked her and I was her only friend, and,in fact, that's why I approached her and became her friend because she was all alone, and my friends T, J, and S in Jr. High were also rednecks and S even beat me up. and J tried to steal from me. and my mother was always "after" me for having such "bad influence" friends and later as I got older I realized she was right and we had nothing in common so I stuck with people more like myself and that weren't violent, in trouble and threatening but race was never an issue and my BFF since age 12 is Korean.

As well I checked with my friend in Australia about ordering the funky shoes but she said she got them for only 10$ at a local store in Ipswich so it's not something I could even order online( doesn't it figure?Just my luck) and when I asked my mother why she's never on my side or has my back she snickered Because you're always wrong! Can you believe  it? I've always figured she hates me because I'm alot like my father who she hates and it probably reminds her even though it's not my fault. I'm loud like he was( although so is she) and opiniated and stand up against unfairness and social injustice,don't take crap from anyone, do my own thing, go against the establishment, won't be controlled, etc. A sad realization as well: none of the kids' baby keepsake Christmas ornaments are left anymore now either to decorate the tree as they were among the decoration that the mice gnawed at and ruined and we've had them for decades and now all I have left of the old decorations is a bit of tinsel I had from even before I met my hubby and it's sad as those were nostalgic; memories you can't replace or get back.

I also ordered more weed yesterday and the oil capsules were half price ( I love Cyber Monday!) but the medical supplier said I only had 10 g left this month( out of my monthly 30 g allowance) somehow even though the month's just begun but that's not enough so I got smart and just divided up my order between 2 different separate places and got the oil from one place and ordered the dried flower from another.If you look hard enough you can almost always find a loophole somewhere, ha ha...I saw as well some disease called Rhabdo-something-or-other where your muscle tissue is basically being consumed and withers away and I wonder if maybe since my back and legs always hurt and are so weak and my legs and arse have shrunk, which may be due to muscle wasting and atrophy....it's worth considering.....all I know is something's going on and lately my lower back is sooooo bad it's like a 7/10 on the pain scale but it might also be my kidneys too based on the location and how "deep" it is into my lower back...