Oh, F*ck!

Today I'm really sunburned from being outside for 4 HRS in the sun yesterday and now it's really noticable! Ow! I even have a blister on the side of my nose I know will eventually peel like a snakeskin, like the peeling sunburns I used to always get as a kid ( esp. on my back, shoulders, and nose) and I also got last YR when I was in Jamaica. I don't really mind though( other than the tightness and stinging on my face now) as it gives my normally pasty-white ghost-face some much-needed colour and eventually turns to a nice tan and forms my base tan for the tanning season. I was also woken up again in the middle of the night with yet another blinding headache and then sat bolt upright and clearly heard this loud commanding voice(my Guardian Angel or the Holy Spirit? I also recognized it too as the same voice that told me my son had leukemia all those years ago, but whatever it was, it was insistant and powerful) say to me, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TAKING YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE MEDICATION !  and then the thought occurred to me: could that be true? Is that somehow possible and that's why I've been feeling so much worse lately and would explain these headaches?

 and when I got up sure enough I checked my weekly pill container and checked all the pills.....the 3 Topamax....there.....the tiny diuretic....check....the 2 Prozac.....yup....the only-not-white-coloured cholestral pill.....there.....the BP pill, the bigger white pill, the biggest pill of them all......no? it's not there? panic.Heart races. Breathing increases.OMG! Where the f*ck IS it?What happened to it? Why aren't they in here? How long has this been happening? At least a week....oh, f*ck!

 and when I got up I checked my pills locked up  and they were all in their Ziplock baggy in the medicine chest except  for the Atenolol.....it must have somehow fallen out of the bag with the others as I ended up finding it hidden way at the back and buried under a bunch of other pills in similar-looking bottles, I don't know for how long it may have lain there missing, and I have so many meds I wouldn't( and didn't!) notice if I had one less! Holy shit though! I just hope it was an accident on my  part; that somehow it just accidently didn't get put back in the bag one time , and NOT intentionally; that someone didn't purposely remove it, figuring I'd never know, so my BP would eventually soar dangerously high causing a heart-attack or stroke and eventually kill me.....

My hubby also "caught" me smoking yesterday( it was such a nice day and he was supposed  to be at work,anyway) and snarled, Ewww, you stink! and I was thinking to myself, and you're  UGLY and a DORK!  and I e-mailed my travel agent as well to see if there are any really good deals( like 75% off or something that even I could probably somehow wrangle and manage to afford) on trips now with the Coronavirus panic and hysteria as it's the perfect time to travel now with great rates and no crowds, and the 20 YR old got promoted to supervisor at work and it's not what she trained for (Journalism) but like she said, it pays the bills, and the 12 YR old didn't know what the definition of "Pop" music was and I had to tell him and then it occurred to me that I've always referred to it as Pussy-Music, so he probably just didn't realize it was the same thing and he has memorized some 66 digits of Pi  as he's a little Einstein and Mathlete and all I know is the 3.14 but I don't give a shit and math just makes my head hurt.

This is also Marnie the dog who has a website and just recently died at age 18 and this just made me sad she looks like this. I hope my Buddy (who is now 14) never ends up like this; so feeble that he can't walk or stand up and looks like he's already dead. That would just break my heart. As awful as it sounds I'd rather he goes sooner, before it ever gets  to that stage and as much as I want him to hang around as long as possible ( and Dachshunds have been known to live to 18 or even longer; they are one of the longest-living breeds) I don't want him suffering or barely living like he's already practically dead. I know how that feels and trust me, you'd  be better off dead.

 The 25 YR old also fried this smelly fish( it smells like my pussy!) and it stunk so bad it permeated thru the entire house all night and today, even wafting up to the third floor and it's so disgusting it makes me gag and he also said how the news and media in general brainwash and indoctrinate people to persuade the masses to think and believe the way they want them to and when you really think about it he has a point, the recent Coronavirus pani and hysteria would be a good example; the media has everyone  freaking out and stockpiling like it's the end of the world or something( see my Friend I's thingy below, which does make you wonder though if increased sickness such as this is  a modern-day plague as well as unusual weather patterns and increased wars and natural disasters occurring at the End Times such as we have now) when really the virus itself is just like another strain of the Flu, a type of pneumonia and 80% of people that gets it have mild cases and fully recover and generally it's old and immune-compromised people that die and for some unknown reason it (thankfully!) doesn't seem to target kids; they seem to somehow be immune. The media is causing needless panic  and this is one example of how they can influence and manipulate mass thinking. The media also tells you who to hate,who the "enemy" is, who to wage war against,who to vote for, what is socially acceptable, what you are allowed to say and do in public, etc. it's a very powerful tool. He's right.