Against The Wind.

I'm like my sunflower against the wind. Even the strongest wind can't blow it down. It won't bend, break or fall over. It stands there alone and just sways with the wind and rides out the storm.

This is what I posted on my Twitter yesterday and it's so true. I stand alone and no matter what life has thrown at me I have always weathered the storm and survived against the odds. It will take something like a tornado to bring it down and the same goes for me. We are both survivors, standing tall and strong, adapting to harsh conditions, building up resistance and although withering and battered( some petals have fallen off and some bottom leaves have died and wilted) still alive, still holding on. I dream as well there was a place where being me is OK, being me is good enough,and I could be happy being me and not be ashamed or embarrassed, but I know no place like that exists other than Heaven. As for my pain, it's still here and now also diffuse thru my entire abdomen, making me wonder if something may have ruptured(appendix?) causing an infection in the entire area, or perhaps there is some sort of obstruction or twisting in my colon( and my shit today is very thin and narrow; like a pencil) which can indicate a blockage, or maybe it's even kidney stones, or else something else is inflamed or infected,but I also have this bad cough as well so maybe it's even lung cancer or something from smoking so much weed (was it worth it? ...hell, yeah!) although that might explain the pain under the rib it wouldn't explain the abdomen....who knows. All I know is the pain is easily a 7.5-8 out of 10 on the pain scale.

Yesterday the neighbours at the back had their 2 Pomeranians (named Lily and Cookie) out the back and Poms have seriously got  to be the most yappy annoying  dogs  EVER; they kept barking and yapping and yapping it was like they were having a barking contest and they were soooo annoying even the owner kicked  them (I heard the yelp) and yelled at them to shut-up. I love dogs but oh my God, just KILL me,and the neighbour next-door was mowing his grass too and his lawnmower kept smoking and it wafted over to our yard all filled with thick smoke and their mower smokes more than I do, and my White Matter Decline is so bad now too I couldn't even remember Che Guevara's name; I could picture him clearly in my mind but I couldn't for the life of me remember his name! I'm so ashamed! What kind of Marxist am I? Another statue of our first PM MacDonald was also defaced and toppled over as well and I'm glad. I've been saying for years  what a racist asshole he was for how he treated the Natives and the Chinese rail workers(and every time I go to Kingston and we drive by that image of him I always give it the Middle Finger)  and now finally other people are starting to see it,too. he was the one responsible for killing Louis Riel and branding him a "traitor" (he wasn't) and starting the appalling and abusive Residential Schools for the Native People, trying to erase their identity and culture, basically genocide, etc. yet they never taught this in history class(only lies, not the truth) and he's been revered and honoured with statues and the like. It's not right to honour colonialists and racists. Everyone has a past but there are some things that need to be called-out and we can rewrite history so certain things must not be repeated.