Wednesday, September 2, 2020

Delusions.

I saw this online and it perfectly describes the experience of having delusions:



Imagine you're sitting in a café.
You're in deep thought, trying to understand the details of what happened in the last few days.
Life has turned strange. For some reason you suddenly feel like something is off. Your friends and family have made strange remarks. You didn't quite understand it but they seemed upset.
Your neighbor has evolved a worrying habit. He started watching you closely. You are not sure why but somehow he is overly interested in you.
You have searched your home more than once for cameras and similar devices but couldn't find any. Still you feel watched all the time at home. That's why you went to the café now. You feel uneasy at home because your neighbor will be around.
The people around you seem to have difficulties to understand what you say. But that's ridiculous! They are the ones that talk in a way that is hard to understand.
You have a job but you didn't show up at work for a few days now. That's because you know your colleagues talk ill about you behind your back. They must have something going on with your neighbor!
Now you sit there, trying to figure out how these things are connected, when suddenly you notice something.
The people around you in that café are staring at you. They don't take a shy look, no, they outright stare at you.
You feel an immediate reaction. Your heart beat picks up pace. You can feel it hammering in your chest. It's awful. You fear it could fail. Your breath becomes shallow and rapid. Sweatpearls grow on your forehead before they slide their way down your face.
These people are still staring! They look disgusted. They sure are there just for you. Just to make you uncomfortable.
You stand up and shoot towards the restroom.
Here you are alone. What a relief. You throw a few handsful of cold water into your face. You try to slow down breath and heartbeat. But now there is another odd observation. The guy in the mirror is not you.
Your heart skips a beat or two while you back off in terror. You run out of the restroom. As soon as the door closes behind you, the heads of those people turn and they continue staring at you.
What did your neighbor tell them? Does he pay them to drive you crazy? Or are his intentions even more sinister?
You walk up to your spot again to take the last large gulp of your coffee and leave. As the cup touches your lip, you hesitate. Did they….did they poison your coffee?
The cup slips from your hand and smashes on the floor. You lightningbolt out of the café and head towards home. Suddenly home seems much safer than this place.
On your way you turn around over and over again to see if you are being followed. You still cannot get rid of the constant fear. You notice a few people who seem to follow you so you increase your speed.
At home, shivering, your key finds the lock and you enter your house, slamming the door shut. You breathe for a while.
Goddammit! Your wallet. It's not there. You must have left it in the café. Now they know where you live!
You run through your home, close to losing your mind. Again that panic! You lock all doors and windows. The next few hours are spent by searching the house for cameras and there alike again.
Not finding any calms you. You have thoroughly locked every possible entrance. You have even built a series of traps for intruders. Nobody can enter your home without you being warned.
Hours pass. Boredom creeps up to you and you are tired but it's already been a while since you have been able to fall asleep without random noise, so you switch on the TV and close your eyes.
Stupid! a voice whispers.
Suddenly you're sitting upright again. And again this terrifying, unbearable fear.
That was your neighbor's voice! He's in here!
You want to stand up to search for him right after grabbing a knife from your kitchen but you won't come that far. Your gaze is fixed at the TV as the news reporter directly talks to you. She is looking right at you, talking specifically with you and nobody else.
How far does your neighbor's influence reach?
Will he have you killed? Will he do it himself?
You run for the kitchen and catch the biggest knife you can find and lock the door that separates it from the living room.
Now you drop to the floor, shivering, crying. You cry so hard. You don't want to be killed. But you cannot call the cops- if your neighbor has wrapped his hands around so many people already, the cops certainly are part of the plot as well.
Now you spend hours and hours in this kitchen, on the floor.
You'd like to drink and eat something but it could all be poisoned. It probably is all poisoned.
You gotta use the bathroom as well but you don't dare to leave the kitchen. It's too dangerous. So you do your business in the kitchen sink.
Days pass. You desperately need water. You can't wait longer. You need help.
Sobbing you call the only person you can remotely trust now.
Mum? Mum, please help me. They're out to get me. Mum please. Water. I will die. Please, mum come and get me out of this.
As mum arrives, she can't open any doors or see through windows since you have taped them with newspapers. She calls the cops and you are involuntarily admitted to a hospital.
Is it a hospital?
Your journey has just begun.

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