I'm Worth It.

Yesterday I went to Wal-Mart for my monthly (or so) supplies and they had the Advent calendars out so we picked them up for the kids and I had always wanted the quality Lindt ones ( shown here) with the good Swiss chocolate( we normally buy the cheap-o ones under 2 $) and I had always longed for these but they're just soooo expensive (10$) so I never got one, not wanting or justifying spending the $$$ but then I thought after all the shit I've been thru lately and  the fact I almost killed myself the other day( and the fact that life's short and that any day might be our last) I figured why not? I'm worth it, no matter what others may say and think and make me feel; I do deserve to "treat" myself every now and then to the best and not to always have to settle for the cheapest, the crap, the worst, all the time, so yesterday I actually splurged and bought myself the Lindt  one and I can't wait to start using it 1 December and having my one delicious chocolate a day! I'm excited and looking forward to it! Actually the real Advent calendar I want is the cannabis  one but that one costs a whopping 350$ ( alot different than just 10$!) and I really don't have the $$$ for that, but that one you get a cannabis treat every day hidden behind the little window for each day in December counting down to Christmas Day, either an edible or dried flower. I also got a new Dove mango butter bath body wash too which cost something like 8$ when normally I limit myself to bath/body wash to under 5$ so I went all out! Sometimes you have to "treat" yourself though and you just need a little "pick me up" and to splurge on treats.

At the store the clerk was also an Indian lady dressed in traditional sari  which you don't see much in this ass-backwards redneck hick-ass town(I think there's only something like 3 Indian families here or something) so she really stuck out and I complimented her telling her I admired her sari and wished her a Happy Diwali and she looked so happy, probably because she's used to all sorts of insults hurled at her from the ignorant racist rednecks in this town calling her "paki" or to "go back where she came from", etc, the usual racist shit, and I also stopped off at the new local cannabis shop ( my hubby didn't want to take me and it was a big hassle but he finally ended up dropping me off while he went elsewhere, after a big 'song and dance") and the good thing about being old is they don't ask for ID ( you have to be at least 19 and it said at the door you have to show 2 photo gov't ID to get in and I never had anything on me) and my hubby kept going on and on(like he always does) berating me about my weed( medical marijuana mind you, which I have a prescription for) how I take more than I'm supposed to  and turned into a "druggie" , am always stoned, and my brain has turned to mush, I'm like LGBT always pushing my "lifestyle" down everyone's throats, etc. even though it's NOT even true; I was prescribed 3 times a day which I can't even afford to do that much; I couldn't even afford to buy enough to do once a day so as always he's just tal;king out his ass and being condescending like always.

They also cut down that massive big Maple tree at the side of us(the one that hit their roof) even bigger than our mulberry tree we had cut down that rotted, so I hate to think what they had to pay as ours cost 1200$ and now it looks so big, empty,and bare without it and it's sad and I miss it,and I think I must have another cold,too as my nose is even more "stuffy" than usual and I have this bad cough and I'm short of breath, and have a bad headache, and the 26 YR old's headache is better since his head injury from jiu-jitsu  3 days ago too but he still "feels drunk" but I've never been drunk so I don't know how that feels so I asked him if it feels like when you wake up out of an anesthetic and he said he never has so he doesn't know what that feels like but he said it's like "woozy" and light-headed and "foggy" and "fuzzy" thinking and after he had trouble spelling too but said now that's better and his cognitive functions are improving now at least which is good and a bonus too: it seems to have "cured" (or at least helped) his anxiety as a result too( or at least temporarily,anyway) so maybe the blow to his head ended up a "blessing" in disguise? My hubby also put up the outdoor Christmas lights now it's been milder out and I think he does it for attention( he's always been a Look at me! I want attention! sort of person) just to show off to the neighbours as they always comment on it even though he denies it he's actually a very narcissist person.