Just A Slight Breeze.

Yesterday and Sunday we had a really bad wind storm ( 125 KM/HR wind) along with a severe wind warning  and it was so bad it was hurricane speed and strength and it left lots of damage incl. fallen tree branches and limbs, downed power lines( and thousands of people were without electricity and some won't even be restored until tomorrow!!) and I noticed one of the neighbour's roof's had a whack-load of shingles torn right off and so bad they'll likely need a new roof done, and our fence got knocked down( see the photo above) and not just down but wrecked; all broken and splintered where the posts are so that it can't even be salvaged or fixed; we have to replace that entire part of the fence, and that was the exact same part that the tree had broken before! Shit! It was really bad and at night you could even hear it howling and banging on the windows and the kids were worried we were having a tornado and I had to reassure them it wasn't tornado season ( that's May, June and July) and the conditions weren't right for it( it has to be warm for one thing and during a thunderstorm and when a warm front meets a cold front as well as the wind that forms into a funnel cloud). it was a pretty bad one though with lots of damage.

Yesterday I also slept in until 7:30 and I never sleep in; I always automatically just wake up early and I don't even need an alarm clock; I am  the alarm; my body just knows when to automatically get up, and since his head injury last week at jiu-jitsu the 26 YR old's insomnia seems to have been cured as well along with his anxiety and he's now been able to sleep 8 HRS a night ever since as opposed to just 3-4 HRS a night which is good and he said with the anxiety gone it's "surreal", and like waking up one day and suddenly not being able to breathe anymore, as if something you've always had autonmatically with you and a part of you is just suddenly gone, but in a good way, and it makes me wonder then too if the anxiety was also the cause of his insomnia too since it's gone he can now sleep well, and he said as well his imagination and ability to think in picture and images has been affected too and when he tries it's just fragmented but it's improving and getting better with each day so he's healing.

Yesterday I also felt a pea-sized lump on Buddy's neck under all the skin folds and wrinklles and saggy skin on the inside on his throat and on the outside there's this purplish-blue flat oval thing hanging off that looks like a skin tag and it broke my heart shattered into a million little pieces. Lumps on an old dog are never good.

CANCER.

He's also been snuggling and cuddling me even more in bed at night the past couple of nights too, pressed up even  closer than usual, as if he needs to be as close to me as possible and I nuzzle into him and sing our songs and whisper our little secrets, and I pet him and tell him how much I love him  and how having him is the best thing that ever happened to me and he's the best friend I've ever had and how he's brought so much love, light, joy,and healing into my life, and I also decided to give him the toy I was originally going to give him for his Christmas present too in case he doesn't last for 6 more weeks and I want him to be happy and enjoy whatever time he does have left, and I don't feel very "Christmas-y" this year either as I'd normally be setting up the house with the Christmas decorations any time now but I just don't have it in me to do so or to listen to Christmas music yet either, and the 17 YR old commented how I don't go to church anymore that she's Glad I'm over my 'Jesus 'phase'" although it wasn't a "phase" and I still love and worship God just as much and I haven't "lost" my faith; I just worship differently now, in my own way.

I watched a movie(Boyhood) on the weekend too and I always knew what was going to happen next so either I'm incredibly psychic or I've already seen it before but forgot, and a good thing about being old and forgetful is that everything is new again because you forget you've already seen or done it, and the kids were playing a game called Among Us and when I said Oh, isn't that the latest popular thing now? the 17 YR old was surprised and said she's surprised that I've even heard of it but I told her I'm NOT as much as a Boomer  as you THINK I am! and the 13 YR old made up, Hooray, hooray, let's be gay!  and he was saying how I'm such a bad parent  and fail at parenting etc. and I told him that he's such a bad kid and fails at being a good kid too always being so difficult, defiant,disobedient, oppositional, mouthy, disrespectful etc. too so I guess that makes us even. The asshole PM also said with the so-called "pandemic" he's NOT ruling out enacting the Emergency Measures Act (formerly the War Measures Act) which is basically just a fancy word for MARTIAL LAW. Welcome to the New World Order. See? I told you it was coming and everyone just laughed at me and said I was crazy and a conspiricy nut, the same thing they told Noah when he was building the ark. F*ck this shit!!