The Queen's Gambit.

We are watching the TV show The Queen's Gambit  which is a popular show about an orphan chess prodigy Beth Harmon ( pictured here as a kid and adult) in the 1960's and we have always been a chess family(see the cute photo below of the 17 YR old as a baby) even before it became "trendy" due to the popularity of the show and my hubby is even a chess Master with a rating of 2300 which he says is around the rating of the character Beth, and said the current world champion (I would assume he's talking about Carlson) is 2800.  Beth had genius but along with that also came demons that often come with it, and hers was a self-destructive spiral of pills and alcohol that will likely kill her before she's 25, not uncommon for prodigies that achieve alot when they're young and burn out and die young. I could relate to her in many ways too, being alone, different than others, in her own little world, living in her head, an outsider, an outcast, not fitting in, and unrequitted love; the guy I loved and hoped to marry ended up being gay,too. Now I'm 53 and I'm still waiting for him , the one I've been waiting my whole life for. Where is he? With my luck he probably died or something. I'm beginning to think that there really isn't anyone out there meant for me. I guess some people are just meant to be alone.

It's interesting how we started watching the show,too: one of my cousins in Europe said she was watching it and I recognized the title as a chess term and that the show was about a chess genius so I mentioned it to my hubby that he might be interested in it and he was and he started watching it and I was in the livingroom one day as he was watching it and saw glimpses of it and it looked interesting and I got into it and then wanted to know what happened to the character so then I started watching it too and it was riveting, the kind of show you sit on the edge of your seat with your hands clenched on the arms of your chair and you lean forward biting your lip waiting on edge to see what will happen next....and then my mother heard us discussing it and now she wants to watch it too! The 26 YR old said it has excellent cinematography and acting as well and I heard it's being viewed in some 62 million households and is now Netflix's most popular show. My hubby also got this new Roku thing for the TV and now it's even more complicated and frustrating than it even was before (and now we also have another remote that can easily get lost,too!) and now my mother and I need even more help with the TV than we did before as all this tech stuff is just waaay too complex for us.

The 26 YR old also got venison from a hunter friend of his and I tried it and it was ok, I thought it would be tough but it was more tender than I expected and it didn't have that gross wild after-taste like I remember rabbit having but I felt badly though, like I was eating Bambi, and I generally don't approve of hunting if it's for trophy hunting but if it's for food then it's OK,and  I just hope it didn't have some disease or something as being wild( and not inspected like meat in the grocery would be) it could have been sick and then you eat it and catch it too, and he had a friend over who gave him an art lesson, and lately he's been having headaches as well only at the front of his head and not at the side where he had the injury he says are just "eye strain" from too much screen time on the computer and I hope that's all it is and not that he's over-doing his brain and starining it when he should be resting it and allowing it to heal following the injury and not over-doing it doing too much too soon,  and yesterday I also put up the indoor Christmas decorations too and I was just sooo wiped-out exhausted after I had to have a nap and I wonder too if I maybe have an endocrine tumour, which typically occur in the colon or also pancreas, appendix, or lungs as they have my symptoms but are notoriously hard to diagnose(and usually not until advanced) and often mistaken for IBS which is what I was diagnosed with? That might explain my symptoms that keep getting worse along with the debilitating fatigue that cancer is well known for? Obviously *something* is causing it all...the 13 YR old also accuses me of being "addicted" to weed(I use for pain) and taking "more than I need" etc. but he just doesn't realize how much daily chronic pain I'm always in all the time and how it just keeps getting worse and how weed is the only thing that relieves the pain, and I'm so used to constant pain I can't even remember what NOT being in pain feels like and if I woke up one day and nothing hurt I'd think I was dead. I think my kidneys are failing too as my right kidney hurts so much it feels like it's going to explode and the day before yesterday I hardly peed much at all(even though it felt like I had to) but yesterday I was peeing alot and it reeks like pole cat piss....

My hubby also always calls the rest of us "pigs", "messy", "slobs" etc. yet I found a bunch of sunflower seeds that only he eats scattered behind his recliner chair the other day,too, so whos' the "pig" and messy slob now and when I mentioned it he excused it as one of the kids must have knocked it over, because, you know, it could never be him...and my mother's such a pig too she ate 2 of the mini subs so that when I went to get one for the 17 YR old's lunch there were none, and she cruelly calls my Asperger's meltdowns "hissy-fits" when really it's when I get overwhelmed and frustrated, the 17 YR old calls me "stupid" for not believing or submitting to the so-called "pandemic" mandates and fears but I'm NOT the mindless sheeple who blindly follows the herd and drinks the Kool-Aid so to speak and I think for myself and will not allow myself to be brainwashed so WHO exactly is the stupid one here, and we needed the 13 YR old to set up the news for us from the computer to the TV(and now with the stupid new thing it's even harder and he has to connect a cable from the laptop to the TV) and he wouldn't bother to help us and didn't even get it done until 10 minutes after it had already started so we missed sone and then when it "froze" and we called him for more help he never even came to help, and I was standing in the doorway and he just rudely pushed by me and hit me in the back and told me to shut up and threatened to KILL Buddy(I'm really concerned about him, he's so out of control) instead of politely asking me to move and when I told him I'm fed up with his rude, disrespectful behaviour I should take away his device for 24 HRS until he learns how to behave properly my mother started bawling me out and screaming at me that I'm "just being mean" etc.sabotaging me trying to discipline him and both he and the 17 YR think and even say that they're the "boss" and my hubby even agrees with them and lets them just do whatever they want and get away with it and yesterday I was trying to listen to music on the Google home device and they kept turning it off and laughing and playing music purposely they know I hate just to annoy me and then sabotaged it so I couldn't turn it off(I just unplugged it and put my headphones on and tuned them out) and sometimes I'm convinced they exist solely just to annoy me and to get on my very last nerve and I hope and pray that one day my kids have kids of their own that are exactly like them which will serve them right and that will be KARMA  and it will be beautiful and it will be wonderful and I will laugh my ass off.