12 Weeks.

Tomorrow my sunflowers will be 12 weeks old, so that's 3 months which would be right as I planted them around the 20th of May. I have 4 or 5 flowers now but I had to cut them down and bring them inside and put them in a vase( shown at the bottom photo) as the damn pesky squirrels kept getting at them jumping and climbing on them, knocking the plants over, trying to get at the seeds underneath the flowers and will end up ruining and killing them so I had to rescue them so at least we have them indoors to enjoy for a few days before they die anyway as opposed to not at all because the squirrels mutilated them. If you look closely at the ones in the vase you can see too how deformed mine really are; I left one normal-looking sunflower(at the very bottom with the wilted petals) I had left from before with the big black face the way it's supposed to be  taking up the majority of the flower, and added my pathetic ones in with it and you can clearly see the difference. I guess it makes sense though; I'm a reject myself and all I can produce are "retarded" flowers,too, with long thin one layer far-spaced petals with small faces. I also saw 4 people checking out the neighbor's sunflowers yesterday too but in a suspicious way, like they were checking out the merchandise, or "casing" it as if they were plotting on how to steal them but luckily they're still here this morning. That would be really mean though, to steal someone's sunflowers, esp. after all the time,work and effort put into it. Yesterday I also got stung by either a wasp or a bee in one of my sunflowers,too.Maybe it was "punishment" for me calling them a disappointment?

We also got a new microwave oven as our last one kept dying and would just randomly shut down but my hubby got some cheap brand no one's ever even heard of, some Chinese knock-off thing so I don't expect it's of good quality or will last for very long, and yesterday I also had this hot "burning" feeling deep in my chest too so I wonder what I ate to give me such indigestion, and the yard boys never did come back to finish the job(or to get paid!) either, and torture to me would be forcing me to eat broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, liver, and forcing me to listen to redneck country music and watch sports, soap operas, The Bachelor and other Reality TV shows and do math, and now no more flying, travelling, or going anywhere or doing anything any more now  for me with non-vaccinated( I prefer the term organic) being segregated and banned but I won't be forced to take the Mark Of The Beast no matter what, and as for discrimination against the unvaccinated, if you just substitute the word unvaccinated with the word Black, Jewish, Muslim, LGBT,women, etc.  and tell them they aren't allowed to travel, enter restaurants, cinemas, museums, etc. all of a sudden there would be an uproar and people would get mad and protest it's discrimination( which it would be) but guess what? It still is! No matter who you do it to denying any group and  dividing and separating society like that IS discrimination, no matter who  they are, which group they are or what you call them and it's not right regardless and once they start with one group where does it end? Also, if they're so sure their vaccines work so well why are the vaccinated still wearing masks then and are so afraid of those of us that aren't vaccinated?  They're "safe" so what's the concern? Plus this country has one of the highest immunization rates and enough for herd immunity so why do they even have  to mandate vaccines anyway when enough of the sheeple  did it voluntarily? It's all about control and enslavement. Hmmmm.... something just doesn't add up or seem right here...

It also always feels like in life everything's rigged against me and I have no chance of ever winning or beating the odds and I'm tired of always being last and always being picked last,too, and the most hurtful thing any of the kids has ever said to me was when the 18 and 20 YR olds were around 16 and 18 I overheard them talking and laughing about me and one gleefully said to the other(I think it was the older to the younger) I'm so glad we finally broke her!! When your own kids' goal is to break you and they rejoice at succeeding that's pretty bad. Plus, every time now I even speak to the 14 YR old he'll scream back at me in reply SHUT UP!!!! and often, for effect, will also hurl a  GO KILL YOURSELF!!! along with it and then they wonder why I hate my life and my family and am so desperate to get out and to be set free.

I was a weird kid, a weird adult, and now I’m a weird middle-aged woman.