14 Weeks.

Tomorrow my sunflower babies will be 14 weeks old so that's 3 1/2 months. They are now easily over 7 feet tall but despite being so big and tall they still only have such small flowers! Go figure! At least now more of them finally have buds on them, around 12-13 more I noticed and later yesterday another one opened, shown below.Yesterday I also got to spend all day outside again incl. 4 hours in the sun, but today it's back  to the oppressive humidty again where it feels like 39 C/ 40 C and possibly severe thunderstorm due to it and I hope at least it'll cool it down, and even early this morning when I took Buddy out for his walk it was already hot, sticky, humid, foggy,and hazy. I can't believe it's September this upcoming week,either,and that Labour Day  is next weekend and then school goes back already,too! I also posted this photo in my stoners group saying The closest I've ever been to being "cool"; weed, tattoos, shaved head...and someone called me gorgeous too and either he was just being "nice" or maybe even sarcastic but it made me feel good regardless and no one's ever called  me that before, and suddenly it just really bugs me how ugly  the outside of our house is,too, how it's 3 different colours; the gables are this ugly pale tan, the roof shingles are green,and the bricks are red....nothing matches,and if only I had the $$$$ I would get it all fixed up to match and I would get the roof re-done a nice brown Spanish-style metal and have the gables painted over in a reddish-brown.I would also get all the peeling paint on the outside windows done,too, too high up for us to reach and as it is now we can't afford to hire a professional painter to come do it. Right now all our $$$$ goes into paying for food and bills, and it hardly even covers that and now I have less $$$$ (half what I had before the 18 YR old turned 18) I couldn't pay one of them as I ran out of $$$ and my mother actually got mad at me and blamed me but what does she expect me to do when I only have so much $$$ and I did pay all the others...My hubby is going to have to step up and start contributing more  and he is the one with the job  afterall and has the most $$$$$ and he should be providing for his family more.

I also had this really scary nightmare that seemed so real it woke me up: demons told me I was condemned and my Punishment is fire and I was tossed into flames and as it got closer I kept  loudly praying aloud every single prayer I know,and not only Christian but also Jewish, Muslim,and even the Hare Krishna mantra too, as I figure I'd have them all covered, and the demon yelled at me to Shut-up!!!! but I kept calling out to God to save me and forgive my sins and as I got closer to the flames it just felt hot like when I'm out in the sun tanning.....but then it got hotter and hotter, and at one point everything just went to a bright comforting light and I was floating and that's when I woke up. That was scary and I hope NOT true though, I want and strive for Heaven and I do have a strong faith(and always have) and have always searched for Truth despite my shortcomings and I'm always asking God to help me do better and to be better, so I hope that's good enough and that the good "outweighs" the bad, but I'm also reassured to know that He also knows my heart and my intentions so even when things backfire, go wrong, and people mi-interpret things and take it the wrong way and they end up offended, mad, hurt, etc. that I didn't mean it that way; it's just my autism and my bad luck.

I also heard that Trudeau's brother was arrested  for sexual abuse of a minor, posession of child porn and meth( and you won't hear about this anywhere in Canadian media, and probably not in American,either; you have to go to foreign news media to find it, like I did; censorship is yet another sign of tyranny) so what a "wonderful" upstanding family those Trudeaus are,and 'ol Pierre Elliot would have been so "proud" and Justin had to cancel an appearance the other day too due to protesters , increasingly against his vaccine mandates, and they were even arrested,too, so now we're not even allowed to protest or disagree with our gov't anymore either, another sign of oppression but hopefully election day will show the same results and he'll be voted OUT!!!! Remember before too how they said masks were just "temporary" and they said the entire lockdown thing was only for 2 weeks and we said mandatory vaccines will be next and everyone laughed and called us Crazy Conspiracy Theorists? Well, who's laughing now? That's exactly what's happening now....not to mention the vaccine passports, the Mark Of The Beast where you are denied basic services if you don't have the Mark. My oldest knows someone who works for Pfizer  as well and he says the vaccine is "safe" but since when would anyone that works for Big Pharma tell you the truth? That's like thinking that the gov't wants what's best for you!

I also saw on an online forum soneone asked if parents forcing their kid to have an "ugly haircut" like cut straight across the earline. is "abuse"...and that sounds just like something stupid my kids would say and call "abuse" and I had my girls' hair cut like that when they were little; into a short sleek blunt Bob, but it wasn't "abuse"; I thought it was really cute ,plus it was practical; I was the one at that age who had to wash and take care of their hair and it's simply easiler if it's short as with long hair(like I had as a kid) there's lots of tangles and I remember as a kid sitting there in the chair as my mother had to work out the knots and tangles with a comb and what torture it was! My kids think everything's 'abuse" though; they even think that me making them go to church every week was abuse! If only they had any idea of what abuse really is! Their punishments was always losing a priviledge such as computer or video games, TV, etc. for 24 HRS or they had to write out "lines" or give that week's allowance to charity, but they were never abused. I also hope though that despite how much they hate me that once I'm gone they'll still remember the good things,too, like funny things I said or did that made them laugh, like my goofy accents, or the funny names I give to the Google Home Device, such as Kiss mi rass, Sofa King Retarded, Richard Cranium, Venus Penis, Mike Hunt, Mike Hawk,Alice Phallus,  etc.

When you start to die....don't. - Frank Buckles