Melena.

Twice yesterday Buddy had melena , which is a medical term for tarry black shit, indicating internal intestinal bleeding. (It always makes me laugh too because it's also the same as the Greek girls' name Melina  although it's spelled differently it sounds  the same and they have no idea that in English they named their kid shit) with clots that looked like grape jelly.It's obvious and you can't miss it. This morning, however, his shits were back to the normal brown-colour turds but at 11 pm last night he had a light nose bleed and again at 6 am this morning he had more blood coming out of his mouth(although not as much as the first time)but it makes sense though if he's swallowing blood that it goes into his stomach and out the other end into his shits and they would have blood in them, but the question is: where is the blood coming from? Where is the originating source? Is it his nose? His mouth? or somewhere inside? Does he perhaps have a nasal tumour, which is common in Dachshunds, or does he have a clotting disorder such as low platelets(which can be caused by rat poison, for example, or blood cancer) although I have seen clots so his clotting factor seems to be working....the 14 YR old said with him bleeding out of his mouth, nose,and ass that he has Ebola....ha, ha....very funny...It's puzzling where it comes from though and why it happens only 1-2 times a day, spanned some 12 hours or so apart...it's like a slow "leak" somewhere, like when you have a leaky pipe, or like with our kitchen ceiling that leaks sometimes.

I cuddle and snuggle with him as much as I possibly can, inhaling his scent, staring at every single little detail, remembering every single aspect of him so I won't forget a thing, enjoying what time we have left but it's sad to think every time we go for a walk that it might end up being our last walk, or each day may be our last day together and I hope he doesn't die today though as it's the 27 YR old's birthday,and I had to put all my bed covers thru the laundry today as they were all covered and soaked with blood and have this awful raw sickening smell,and all the worry, stress, and exhaustion has gotten to me too and I can hardly function I'm like a zombie and feel like I have jet-lag as I know  he's dying(because let's face it, all that bleeding is NOT normal), it's just a matter of when and knowing it  could be any day now and could happen at any moment tears me apart and I feel like I'm 'walking on eggshells" and in a fog and I can't eat, or sleep, or even think I'm just so sick with dread, fear, worry, and stress I even feel cold and I'm always treembling and shaking and I just can't get warm no matter what I do I'm in such bad shape. Hopefully we'll both die together.

I also saw this trivia question: What do you call a newcomer to an organization that thinks he's superior than others who have been there longer? and I thought: an asshole? but the actual answer was upstart which I have never heard of(and I like asshole better!) and I also heard that there's this song with the actual real title something like Jesus, drop-kick me thru the goal post of life and it was just the funniest thing ever and I just cracked up and laughed my ass off, and apparantly the word chocolate  has the Schwa sound in it,too, and that's something I never could understand: the Schwa sound. Exactly what the f*ck is  the Schwa sound anyway? None of the words even have any sounds that even remotely sound like schwa in  them, so needless to say we never did cover that lesson in our homeschooling. English is such a complicated, weird language!

"I love mankind. It's people I can't stand." - Linus from "Peanuts."