This & That.

Yesterday it was an amazing 13 C ( in November! Can you believe it?) so Buddy and I sat outside in the sun on the back porch for over 2 HRS. I would have liked to have stayed longer except the sun only stayed there for a little while and then it got all shady and cool. This time of year we're tilting away from the sun as we get closer to winter and we get fewer hours of sunlight and now it gets dark by 5 pm plus with the time change the sun's off the porch by Noon now and it used to stay until 2-3 pm but we enjoy what we can for as long as it lasts and today's supposed to be the same I'll just have to get out earlier, but right now it's still cold 0 C and has to warm up.This morning taking Buddy out for his morning walk when I got back to the house I also noticed one of my gloves was missing(and it's the only pair I have,too, and they're nice and warm ones, suede and sheepskin, so it's not like I'm just going to say aw, forget it and just leave it there) so I dropped Buddy off and went back and re-traced my steps and found it, luckily, it was early and no one else was out there so it didn't get stolen.I was really gasping and out of breath though and I guess what must have happened is it fell when I took it off to pick up his shit and put it in the baggie and tie it up. I think I also might have had a seizure the other day during my afternoon nap too as I was waking up out of it all my muscles were stiff and rigid and I was shaking and my eyes were rolling in the back of my head as I was waking up and Buddy kept whimpering beside me...it's weird though how it only ever seems to happen in my sleep....

I also was surprised to learn my Facebook friend who is prego isn't a triplet like I thought but rather a quad; as well as her 2 sisters they also had a brother too but he died at a few months old due to complications due to prematurity and they were just born at 25 weeks and each weighed 1 1/2 pounds! One of her sisters is blind,too. I was born 6 weeks early and the 23 YR old was born 5 weeks early and I thought that was premature, but I can't even imagine at 25 weeks! She's lucky she even survived! I remembered hearing a story about my dedushka though which is actually even more amazing when you realize he was born over 100 years ago at just 6 months gestation and he still survived; they wrapped him up in olive oil and cotton batten and put him in a shoe box by the wood stove to keep him warm, sort of like a primitive home-made incubator and despite the odds, he lived,so God obviously had plans for him. As for me, I used to go to church every Sunday and it defined me, but now I'm even more spiritual without the rituals and routine, it's just me and God, and religion is for people,anyway, not for God, and God is love, and I think as long as you worship with a true heart, care about others, take care of the needy, are a good person with a good heart, are ethical and moral, do the right thing,and avoid idolatry, the occult,and all sin. He really doesn't care which way you pray, which house of worship you attend, if men have beards, if women cover their heads, what fabrics you wear,if you have tattoos, etc.On Judgement Day He's not going to ask you how often you went to church or if you stood up, bowed, or prostrated when you prayed but rather who did you love today? Who did you forgive? Who did you give a second chance?

There's always that one clock too that gets forgotten when the clocks change and for us it's the oven but the 14 YR old's the only one that knows how to do it and he was sick in bed with a cold so it was late getting done,and now the Canada-US border is finally open after 20 months but it's stupid as you have to have the vaxx ( the Mark Of The Beast) but not only  that but in order to be allowed to return (not that anyone would want to come back!) you also have to provide a negative COVID test which costs 200$ a person, which is an expense alot of people can't afford, plus, if they already had  the vaxx then why exactly do they even need  the test? I thought the whole idea of getting it was so that you didn't have to still keep going thru all this shit? it's just another money-grab for the gov't and all about control. It's eerie too how the brainwashed masses of mindless dumb sheeple that just follow it all without question are just like cult members! It made me sad the other day too to realize that I never did anything with my life other than have lots of kids even though it's what I thought I wanted; it was my dream but it turned into a nightmare.

Be careful what you wish for.

Sometimes I also wonder if the reason I just accept the shitty way my family treats me if deep down I think that I don't really "deserve" any better, and since they hate and abuse me and don't want me around anyway and treat me like I'm an unwanted burden maybe the best thing I can do for both  them and myself is to just stay out of their lives?

We don’t belong to the government. They belong to us. We must never ever forget that.- James Melville