Snowmageddon.

Today we are having the blizzard of the century I bet, like the one of 1977 when I was 10 years old and I still remember well. It was great for a kid, a perfect time for building fantastic snowforts and tunnels(that terrified the hell out of our mothers who were afraid that they would collapse and suffocate us to death) and build epic snowmen and it started last night and should continue on until this afternoon and now they forecast 30-40cm which is a shitload  of snow and today was supposed to be the day schools went back too but it's not happening and not only are the school buses cancelled but the schools themselves are closed because of the snowstorm and that never happens as we live in a country where lots of snow is common in winter but this is big even for us! It's a strong wind as well so it's a complete white-out out there and when I took Buddy out early this morning I slipped going down the last step as it was buried and I didn't see it and the snow is so deep already it's higher than Buddy is tall and he would have been completely buried  in it if I had just plunked him down in it so I had to clear away a small patch with my boot so he had a clear spot to go pee! The van next door the tires and entire bottom part is also completely buried and it's not even done snowing yet!

My hubby went to the grocery yesterday to 4-5 stores and in every store the shelves were empty due to the Fascist dystopian COVIDianRegime Police State and I'm never getting the Mark Of The Beast no matter what  they do, even if they starve us out; I don't belong to Satan or to the State; I belong to God, and my 80 YR old mother said it's a nightmare, only it's real,and you can't wake up out of it! and comparing it to Nazi Germany she added, at least Hitler did some good( building highways and Volkswagon) our gov't hasn't done anything!(they did legalize weed though, which is good, but that's all they did!) I also have joints in 3 sizes: small, medium, and large: large for when the pain is really bad, small for when it's ungodly cold outside and I want to be as quick as possible, and medium for in-between, and when my hubby got the groceries last night our dinner was on the grocery list and when I asked him when he planned on going he said 5 pm, and he goes to several stores and it takes him 3 HRS so we weren't able to have our dinner until late (because he had to go to the store and then it had to be cooked) so we were starving, and he also got a vanilla  cake he knows I hate  vanilla ( the only vanilla I eat is birthday cake as it tastes different) and it won't get eaten and just get thrown out,a waste of $$$ and this morning he also used the purple towel for his shower he knows I like,too. I really think he does these things just to piss me off.

I also decided if the 14 YR old ever pulls a knife on me ever again to take my friends' and cousins' advice and call the police and have him removed from the home. I shouldn't have to put up with that. It's not right he threaten ne(or anyone else) like that and it's abuse and I think it's best anyway that he probably lives somewhere else; it would be better for all of us, both for him and for the rest of us. At one time my biggest fear was to lose the kids but in this case I've just had enough and I'm done  with him. You pull a knife on me and I'm done. I just want to start a whole new life; to leave and move somewhere with a tropical climate, free from this toxic family and free from tyrannical Fascist COVIDianRegimes, where I can just start over, hopefully find love and just be happy and free. I want to esacpe from this life, this family,and this shithole country. I never want to see any of them ever again; I just want to start a new chapter and in the meantime it would be nice if my hubby and the 14 YR old moved out and got their own place,leaving just my mother, the 27 YR old, Buddy,and I here; much less tension, stress, and strife. One way or another, I have  to get out of this life, and I fall in love with compassion and kindness, and that's who I need to love me; someone with a big heart, and if reincarnation is real I want to come back as a butterfly so I can fly and be beautiful.

“They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.” —Dinos Christianopoulos